Why do so many leaders who talk about vulnerability leave people feeling smaller? Therapist Dr. Chuck DeGroat names it "fauxnerability" and shows how to spot it.
Chuck returns to A World of Difference the day after launching his new book, Who You're Becoming: The Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character in a Narcissistic Age (Tyndale), which earned a starred review from Publishers Weekly. He and Lori Adams-Brown talk about narcissism in leadership across tech, politics, faith communities and nonprofits: performed vulnerability, narcissistic supply and return to office, mirror-hungry leaders and the followers who plug into them, virtue signaling, and the slow work of growing real character.
Content note: this episode discusses narcissistic and spiritual abuse.
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Hook: why people plug into narcissistic leaders
00:33 Introduction: welcome back, Chuck
04:58 San Francisco, loneliness, and why connection fuels leaders
07:51 Fauxnerability: when vulnerability becomes a performance
10:14 A crisis of leadership and the doubling down on power
14:54 Empathy and accountability with leaders who have caused harm
19:14 Return to office and narcissistic supply
22:33 Mirror-hungry leaders and ideal-hungry followers
23:56 Lori's story: when you are someone's narcissistic supply
24:58 Virtue signaling and performative allyship
28:07 Disintegration, and what a reintegrated culture looks like
32:08 Reckonings across institutions, and reasons for hope
33:25 The vision of Who You're Becoming: growing in integrity
36:06 Where to find Chuck and his new book
37:03 Closing reflections
40:03 Passport Stamp: Canada
Research mentioned (leader narcissism and resistance to remote work, Grant, Shandell and Elliott): https://fortune.com/2026/06/25/return-to-office-ceos-ego-research/
FIND DR. CHUCK DEGROAT
Website: https://chuckdegroat.net
Substack, Sit with Chuck: https://sitwithchuck.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chuckdegroat
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chuckdegroat
Book, Who You're Becoming: https://www.tyndale.com/p/who-youre-becoming/9781496483188
GO DEEPER
Exclusive bonus with Chuck for Difference Makers on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/aworldofdifference
SAFE Ground Framework™, to spot workplace bullying before it spreads: https://loriadamsbrown.com/safe
VOICE diagnostic from Brava Global Advisory: https://www.bravaglobaladvisory.com/voice
Thinking about a life abroad? I use and recommend Expatsi to help navigate the move: https://www.expatsi.com/?ref=2kJ926HZ (As an affiliate, I may earn a small commission.)
CONNECT WITH LORI
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