Ever sat in a meeting and felt that uneasy nudge, but stayed quiet because speaking up seemed too risky? You’re not alone—and that’s exactly what we dive into here. This conversation with Amira Barger unpacks the hidden cost of “niceness” in the workplace and challenges the idea that keeping things comfortable is always the right move. Amira shares vivid stories—from the high stakes of a D.C. meeting gone wrong to the subtle power plays behind “ladies who lunch” culture—that will make you rethink what’s really going on beneath the surface of your own office dynamics. She also draws on her unique upbringing in Guam to bring fresh perspective on how relationships and community can reshape leadership and communication styles. We get real about why avoiding conflict hurts organizations, how psychological safety is more than just a feeling (it’s a system we have to build), and why kindness and niceness aren’t the same thing—especially when it comes to leading with honesty and courage. Amira’s practical advice on when and how to speak up, even when it feels risky, is a must-hear for anyone ready to break free from the “nice” trap and foster authentic, inclusive workplaces. Curious about how to practice nerve without burning bridges? Wondering how to create a culture where speaking up is expected and rewarded? This conversation is packed with insights and actionable ideas that will stick with you. Drop a comment and share your own experiences with workplace niceness or speaking up. What’s held you back? What helped you find your voice? Let’s keep this important conversation going. And if this episode hit home, please like, share, and subscribe to help more people discover how to lead and work better together. Find Amira on social media @amirabarger and check out her upcoming book, The Price of Nice. For more deep dives and behind-the-scenes thoughts, join the community over on Substack at loriadamsbrown.substack

In this episode, you will be able to:

Discover how the impact of niceness in workplace culture can quietly shape team dynamics and influence overall success.

Unlock the keys to building psychological safety that encourages genuine conversations and boosts team confidence.

Understand the hidden consequences of avoiding conflict at work and how it can stall growth and damage trust.

Learn powerful strategies for speaking up against workplace norms that hold your team back from true inclusion.

Differentiate between kindness and niceness in leadership to create authentic connections without losing respect.

My special guest is Amira Barger

Amira Barger brings a unique lens to workplace culture, blending two decades of experience advising Fortune 500 companies with her upbringing on the island of Guam. She’s not just a communications and leadership expert, she’s someone who’s lived and breathed the value of community, reciprocity, and authentic connection. Amira is known for asking tough questions about “niceness” at work and challenging the norms that keep teams stuck in comfort zones. Her global perspective, shaped by both island warmth and Silicon Valley’s high-pressure pace, helps her see what others might miss about power dynamics and unspoken rules. Through her work, teaching, and forthcoming book, Amira offers fresh insights and practical strategies for building psychological safety and real inclusivity in organizations. Her stories and approach make her the perfect guide for anyone ready to move beyond surface-level “niceness” and into meaningful, honest leadership.

The key moments in this episode are:
00:01:00 - Navigating Niceness and Conflict Avoidance in the Workplace
00:04:00 - Bringing a Global Mindset to American Workplace Culture
00:08:00 - Understanding and Challenging Sacred Cows in Organizations
00:12:00 - The Cost of Comfort Over Candor in Leadership
00:13:32 - The Troubling Relationship Between Silicon Valley and Washington D.C.
00:15:12 - The Ladies Who Lunch: Power, Influence, and Performative Philanthropy
00:20:21 - Niceness, Leadership, and the Risks of Capitulation in Modern Organizations
00:22:58 - Challenging Stories and Leadership Narratives to Foster Change
00:25:25 - Vacation Hair and the Cost of Being Nice: A Personal Leadership Lesson
00:26:38 - Childhood Lessons on Speaking Truth and Its Consequences
00:28:17 - The Matching Principle and Effective Communication Types
00:31:37 - Navigating Voice and Nerve in Challenging Workplace Contexts
00:33:52 - Building Psychological Safety as a System in Organizations
00:37:53 - The High Price of Silence and Retaliation in the Workplace

The resources mentioned in this episode are:

Read Amira Barger's forthcoming book, The Price of Nice, to learn more about her insights and strategies for challenging workplace culture.
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/800343/the-price-of-nice-by-amira-barger/