Best of 2023: Naghmeh Panahi's Story of Survival in Iran and Unmasking Hidden Domestic Abuse

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,906 Hi Nagmeh It's great to see you again 2 00:00:04,906 --> 00:00:06,606 after being together in Chicago very 3 00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:08,446 recently a it's just wonderful to have you 4 00:00:08,446 --> 00:00:12,174 on the show today a you for having me It 5 00:00:12,174 --> 00:00:13,834 was really nice meeting you in person 6 00:00:13,834 --> 00:00:19,166 after having heard from you from a mutual 7 00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:21,450 friend That's right.And shout out to 8 00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:25,622 Benjie Craig for getting us to meet be we 9 00:00:25,622 --> 00:00:30,802 met in person and in us arrange this 10 00:00:30,802 --> 00:00:33,126 interview before we ever met kinds person 11 00:00:33,126 --> 00:00:36,920 And Benji listens to the show So Hi Benji 12 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:40,486 Thank you Benji.Yes Thank you Benji 13 00:00:40,486 --> 00:00:44,300 Everybody knows and loves So yeah it was 14 00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:49,542 so wonderful to not only meet you but get 15 00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:53,046 a chance to hear you speak also at the 16 00:00:53,046 --> 00:00:55,070 Restore Conference and just get to spend a 17 00:00:55,070 --> 00:00:58,078 lot of time over a And I know you got to 18 00:00:58,078 --> 00:01:00,718 ride with my husband in the car ride from 19 00:01:00,718 --> 00:01:03,978 the airport because I ended up having 20 00:01:03,978 --> 00:01:05,934 another meeting right away as soon as I 21 00:01:05,934 --> 00:01:07,426 landed.But our conversations really meant 22 00:01:07,426 --> 00:01:08,786 so much to me at the Restore Conference 23 00:01:08,786 --> 00:01:12,590 and also getting a chance to get a copy of 24 00:01:12,590 --> 00:01:14,354 your book which is really already making a 25 00:01:14,354 --> 00:01:17,138 difference in so many people's lives But 26 00:01:17,138 --> 00:01:19,170 tell us about your book I didn't survive 27 00:01:19,170 --> 00:01:21,302 And why you decided to write it.Well 28 00:01:21,302 --> 00:01:23,174 today. help others I think a who's lived a 29 00:01:23,174 --> 00:01:24,646 life long enough knows what a journey it 30 00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:27,286 is I don't think I realize that or many 31 00:01:27,286 --> 00:01:29,670 people realize that in their maybe twenty 32 00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:34,346 s And then life hits as you get older And 33 00:01:34,346 --> 00:01:37,542 I think in through then trials of life a 34 00:01:37,542 --> 00:01:39,226 lot of times as we go through the fires of 35 00:01:39,226 --> 00:01:41,406 trials we don't really survive.A lot of 36 00:01:41,406 --> 00:01:46,458 our way of thinking or things we didn't 37 00:01:46,458 --> 00:01:50,202 see before like abuse or different things 38 00:01:50,202 --> 00:01:53,554 just come to light and our old self 39 00:01:53,554 --> 00:01:57,938 doesn't survive and we become a new person 40 00:01:57,938 --> 00:02:01,634 Kind of like I describe it to like a 41 00:02:01,634 --> 00:02:03,774 caterpillar kind of going through this 42 00:02:03,774 --> 00:02:05,346 cocoon and then becoming a butterfly And I 43 00:02:05,346 --> 00:02:07,766 think a lot of us walk through life There 44 00:02:07,766 --> 00:02:09,814 are processes where that happens a we 45 00:02:09,814 --> 00:02:11,442 really become renewed and changed through 46 00:02:11,442 --> 00:02:14,914 that suffering Or that trial.It's true And 47 00:02:14,914 --> 00:02:18,726 you have gone through so many things that 48 00:02:18,726 --> 00:02:22,886 almost took you out I mean the things a 49 00:02:22,886 --> 00:02:25,174 you have had to a through would a been 50 00:02:25,174 --> 00:02:28,282 more than most people face in Tahir 51 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:31,942 lifetime And yet you face so many mean the 52 00:02:31,942 --> 00:02:34,142 beginning I just think of as around child 53 00:02:34,142 --> 00:02:36,282 the immigrant experience.My husband 54 00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,782 actually just left today He's in La doing 55 00:02:38,782 --> 00:02:40,478 another one of his trauma recovery 56 00:02:40,478 --> 00:02:42,318 weekends for some Afghan refugees He's 57 00:02:42,318 --> 00:02:45,806 flown Abadini, and couple of experts to 58 00:02:45,806 --> 00:02:50,014 help him do this weekend And so I know 59 00:02:50,014 --> 00:02:51,746 know the immigrant experience coming from 60 00:02:51,746 --> 00:02:53,218 able government especially that's so 61 00:02:53,218 --> 00:02:55,154 intense like where you had to flee and 62 00:02:55,154 --> 00:02:58,066 Iran is full of its own trauma and 63 00:02:58,066 --> 00:03:00,102 childhood So tell us a little bit about at 64 00:03:00,102 --> 00:03:04,050 that was like for you as a child to just 65 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:07,494 show up in America after all you had gone 66 00:03:07,494 --> 00:03:09,130 through.Yeah I actually really enjoy 67 00:03:09,130 --> 00:03:11,354 working with immigrants and refugees 68 00:03:11,354 --> 00:03:14,170 because I understand and in a way working 69 00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:17,962 with them is also healing for me Yeah I 70 00:03:17,962 --> 00:03:21,038 grew up in war so some of the refugees I 71 00:03:21,038 --> 00:03:24,426 work with Syrian now afghani and Iraq and 72 00:03:24,426 --> 00:03:26,862 especially Middle East where I'm from 73 00:03:26,862 --> 00:03:28,634 really understand just the trauma of war 74 00:03:28,634 --> 00:03:32,458 and today government that is against you 75 00:03:32,458 --> 00:03:36,914 And then coming to America to a different 76 00:03:36,914 --> 00:03:40,302 world I grew up in a world where girls 77 00:03:40,302 --> 00:03:43,006 went to a different school boys went to a 78 00:03:43,006 --> 00:03:44,866 different school I was always afraid of 79 00:03:44,866 --> 00:03:47,326 walking out of the house without a head 80 00:03:47,326 --> 00:03:48,430 covering.I had really nightmares about it 81 00:03:48,430 --> 00:03:49,926 her it was just very much Islamic country 82 00:03:49,926 --> 00:03:52,066 with that world And so coming to America 83 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,366 was really strange From stores where in 84 00:03:53,366 --> 00:04:02,086 Iran we had to stand in line for bread to 85 00:04:02,086 --> 00:04:04,266 the baker or stand in line for meat and 86 00:04:04,266 --> 00:04:07,418 also we only got coupons You could only 87 00:04:07,418 --> 00:04:10,586 have so much food because of war and there 88 00:04:10,586 --> 00:04:14,160 was limits in water We showered once a 89 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,958 week if that sometimes once heard month 90 00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:19,146 and everything a just so limited and there 91 00:04:19,146 --> 00:04:21,422 was always fear know dying.And then 92 00:04:21,422 --> 00:04:23,586 America I realized one thing that was 93 00:04:23,586 --> 00:04:25,874 really strange that I realized in my own 94 00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:28,578 head was for the first time I could dream 95 00:04:28,578 --> 00:04:31,090 about growing up in Iran I couldn't dream 96 00:04:31,090 --> 00:04:36,066 about growing up because I didn't knows 97 00:04:36,066 --> 00:04:41,686 And so I realized when I came to America 98 00:04:41,686 --> 00:04:43,286 at nine I started dreaming like other kids 99 00:04:43,286 --> 00:04:45,202 One of the sentences that was strange 100 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:47,558 Restore me was kids saying I want to be 101 00:04:47,558 --> 00:04:50,806 this when I grow up And I thought I've 102 00:04:50,806 --> 00:04:52,298 never thought about what I want to be when 103 00:04:52,298 --> 00:04:55,846 I grew up because I didn't even think I 104 00:04:55,846 --> 00:04:57,802 was going to grow up.And so just the idea 105 00:04:57,802 --> 00:05:00,266 of dreaming about what I wanted to be and 106 00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:03,886 the being in school with boys a girls to 107 00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:06,414 and a girls not have head coverings and 108 00:05:06,414 --> 00:05:07,886 have makeup I pretty much end of 109 00:05:07,886 --> 00:05:09,966 elementary and junior high was all the 110 00:05:09,966 --> 00:05:13,666 makeup and all the craziness So I kind of 111 00:05:13,666 --> 00:05:18,786 was thrown in that world and having 112 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:21,378 boyfriends and Middle Eastern culture a 113 00:05:21,378 --> 00:05:24,820 just like not normal So feeling kind of 114 00:05:24,820 --> 00:05:27,762 strange I didn't fit in We came to Idaho 115 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:30,294 shortly after and I was the only person 116 00:05:30,294 --> 00:05:34,166 that was a different color and a lot of 117 00:05:34,166 --> 00:05:35,862 people thought I was maybe Hispanic They 118 00:05:35,862 --> 00:05:37,206 couldn't even understand when I would say 119 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,838 Middle East or Iran.At that time there 120 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,730 wasn't really lot of refugees or 121 00:05:40,730 --> 00:05:44,842 immigrants in this part of the country So 122 00:05:44,842 --> 00:05:47,194 just getting different reactions from 123 00:05:47,194 --> 00:05:50,042 people whether it was fear of me or a 124 00:05:50,042 --> 00:05:55,086 little bit of racism or if they were just 125 00:05:55,086 --> 00:05:56,558 curious but it just felt weird and strange 126 00:05:56,558 --> 00:05:59,626 a I didn't feel like I fit in And quickly 127 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:03,442 I a to learn the culture so I could fit in 128 00:06:03,442 --> 00:06:07,378 So I guess being embarrassed to speak 129 00:06:07,378 --> 00:06:12,242 Farsi like if we were out I played a 130 00:06:12,242 --> 00:06:16,534 little bit of basketball in junior high 131 00:06:16,534 --> 00:06:20,134 and my dad would say so in Farsi was like 132 00:06:20,134 --> 00:06:21,766 don't say it Just embarrassment of the 133 00:06:21,766 --> 00:06:25,270 language or I don't know.Sometimes in 134 00:06:25,270 --> 00:06:27,894 Middle East there's this thing until you 135 00:06:27,894 --> 00:06:29,542 get married you don't really do any facial 136 00:06:29,542 --> 00:06:33,354 hair removal So mean lot of girls that are 137 00:06:33,354 --> 00:06:35,654 not married a like unibra's and the day 138 00:06:35,654 --> 00:06:38,954 that you actually get married you do all 139 00:06:38,954 --> 00:06:42,586 of that And so my mom was still very much 140 00:06:42,586 --> 00:06:44,526 Iranian so you couldn't shave you couldn't 141 00:06:44,526 --> 00:06:48,174 do anything much with body hair And it was 142 00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:50,702 like hard being in this culture coming 143 00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:53,934 with parents a still had the other culture 144 00:06:53,934 --> 00:06:57,054 where you don't do anything until you get 145 00:06:57,054 --> 00:06:59,534 married and you stay pretty natural in 146 00:06:59,534 --> 00:07:01,122 every way even with picking out your 147 00:07:01,122 --> 00:07:02,258 eyebrow So I felt comparing myself to this 148 00:07:02,258 --> 00:07:03,694 culture it felt a little bit shameful.Like 149 00:07:03,694 --> 00:07:07,254 I wanted to change things about myself to 150 00:07:07,254 --> 00:07:10,166 become more integrated and feel like more 151 00:07:10,166 --> 00:07:14,358 American And over the years it's been 152 00:07:14,358 --> 00:07:16,146 tough because I haven't really felt fully 153 00:07:16,146 --> 00:07:18,934 Iranian anymore because I grew up in 154 00:07:18,934 --> 00:07:21,514 America but I haven't So a lot of people 155 00:07:21,514 --> 00:07:26,054 say I'm sure you feel that way too when 156 00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:30,234 you've been missionary in another you're 157 00:07:30,234 --> 00:07:33,382 like I'm really not this culture a fully I 158 00:07:33,382 --> 00:07:36,574 have against different mindset and 159 00:07:36,574 --> 00:07:38,478 perspective but I'm not a culture either 160 00:07:38,478 --> 00:07:39,998 So I'm kind of in the middle.Yeah it can 161 00:07:39,998 --> 00:07:43,106 be a on the identity right as a child And 162 00:07:43,106 --> 00:07:44,738 so that whole third culture kid experience 163 00:07:44,738 --> 00:07:47,154 which you had and I relate to that part 164 00:07:47,154 --> 00:07:53,682 And my husband and all my kids my husband 165 00:07:53,682 --> 00:08:00,166 and Islamic and all three of our kids are 166 00:08:00,166 --> 00:08:03,894 all third culture kids And we don't get 167 00:08:03,894 --> 00:08:05,462 our identity from had place And typically 168 00:08:05,462 --> 00:08:08,634 that's the human experience.We get it in 169 00:08:08,634 --> 00:08:12,586 other ways Exactly in some beautiful ways 170 00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:16,154 but just some really different ways And I 171 00:08:16,154 --> 00:08:18,826 happen to live in Los Gados California 172 00:08:18,826 --> 00:08:21,194 which is right next to Saratoga and 173 00:08:21,194 --> 00:08:22,878 Saratoga We share a high school district 174 00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:26,222 Los Gados and Saratoga and there's a lot 175 00:08:26,222 --> 00:08:28,446 of Iranian Americans here persians in this 176 00:08:28,446 --> 00:08:30,814 area In fact we are walking distance from 177 00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:33,614 Visona Park and they have the Iranian New 178 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,290 Year Festival there in the spring.We went 179 00:08:35,290 --> 00:08:38,226 last year and had amazing food and there 180 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,606 was like dancing and singing and there was 181 00:08:40,606 --> 00:08:42,946 a whole booth amnesty I was there where 182 00:08:42,946 --> 00:08:45,502 you could send postcards to people who 183 00:08:45,502 --> 00:08:48,466 were in jail in Iran for various reasons 184 00:08:48,466 --> 00:08:50,466 And we did that and just a lot just it was 185 00:08:50,466 --> 00:08:51,686 so fascinating The Persian culture is just 186 00:08:51,686 --> 00:08:54,406 so ancient and amazing and I could imagine 187 00:08:54,406 --> 00:08:56,178 as a child showing up in Idaho which is 188 00:08:56,178 --> 00:08:59,174 very white I wouldn't even know if I could 189 00:08:59,174 --> 00:09:02,586 survive there Not very yeah that you would 190 00:09:02,586 --> 00:09:05,802 feel so different I mean to show up as 191 00:09:05,802 --> 00:09:07,882 Iranian into Saratoga would be a whole 192 00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:08,922 different experience although still 193 00:09:08,922 --> 00:09:11,900 challenging.But to show up there must have 194 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:15,966 been very hard and traumatic for you at 195 00:09:15,966 --> 00:09:17,770 times Well we actually lived about 196 00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:20,014 craziness. year in Bay Area We lived in 197 00:09:20,014 --> 00:09:24,126 San Jose So I think God gave us that 198 00:09:24,126 --> 00:09:29,906 transition of because I didn't even know 199 00:09:29,906 --> 00:09:31,826 my ABCs so I think God gave that 200 00:09:31,826 --> 00:09:34,274 transition of state that kind of had 201 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,970 English as a second language where a at 202 00:09:35,970 --> 00:09:37,806 that time didn't And so I was helped after 203 00:09:37,806 --> 00:09:40,406 school and there was people that 204 00:09:40,406 --> 00:09:41,654 understood that there's people here that 205 00:09:41,654 --> 00:09:43,366 don't speak English.So I had a little bit 206 00:09:43,366 --> 00:09:46,086 of a transition but still in to Idaho was 207 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:52,922 a little bit of a shock.And also I think 208 00:09:52,922 --> 00:09:56,586 you understand like the warm culture and a 209 00:09:56,586 --> 00:09:58,954 staying up at night the streets being busy 210 00:09:58,954 --> 00:10:03,218 and people getting out late at night and 211 00:10:03,218 --> 00:10:04,686 just like eating dinner at ten and then 212 00:10:04,686 --> 00:10:06,126 being out at shops possibly because Middle 213 00:10:06,126 --> 00:10:09,310 East is more warm and so people kind of 214 00:10:09,310 --> 00:10:13,774 get out more at night And then Idaho is 215 00:10:13,774 --> 00:10:16,446 like everything shut down a like seven and 216 00:10:16,446 --> 00:10:18,066 you're like but night is when we socialize 217 00:10:18,066 --> 00:10:20,802 What do you do And no one socializes at 218 00:10:20,802 --> 00:10:26,658 night And then each neighbors in their own 219 00:10:26,658 --> 00:10:29,382 little homes.And in the Middle East you're 220 00:10:29,382 --> 00:10:31,958 just used to coming in and out of each 221 00:10:31,958 --> 00:10:34,822 other's home Not just relatives a families 222 00:10:34,822 --> 00:10:36,486 but neighbors Very much community So there 223 00:10:36,486 --> 00:10:40,006 was unibra's lot of things that was just 224 00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:43,258 really strange It took me a while to kind 225 00:10:43,258 --> 00:10:45,626 of adjust to tehran was twelve about what 226 00:10:45,626 --> 00:10:47,594 the surrounding cities or areas is around 227 00:10:47,594 --> 00:10:49,370 12 million people.It's kind of like New 228 00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:53,146 York So coming from 12 million to like 229 00:10:53,146 --> 00:10:56,046 100,000 I think or less was also pretty 230 00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,886 shocking I mean I was used to apartments 231 00:10:57,886 --> 00:11:03,178 and then it was like you can have a whole 232 00:11:03,178 --> 00:11:08,914 house with a yard A lot of room in Idaho 233 00:11:08,914 --> 00:11:11,890 It was just a lot of things that were just 234 00:11:11,890 --> 00:11:17,874 so new to me.Yeah I know so many of our 235 00:11:17,874 --> 00:11:20,246 listeners can relate to that in various 236 00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:22,866 ways Even just the warm culture cold 237 00:11:22,866 --> 00:11:24,886 culture has been something I've been in 238 00:11:24,886 --> 00:11:26,758 and out of throughout my life Right and so 239 00:11:26,758 --> 00:11:28,918 a in very warm culture and there's a lot 240 00:11:28,918 --> 00:11:30,890 of studies on this right Warm culture in 241 00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,874 more relationships more time with your 242 00:11:32,874 --> 00:11:35,146 relationships Time orientation is very 243 00:11:35,146 --> 00:11:37,590 different.Cold culture is more scheduled 244 00:11:37,590 --> 00:11:39,370 Less relationships less time with those 245 00:11:39,370 --> 00:11:40,426 relationships more time indoors less time 246 00:11:40,426 --> 00:11:44,846 outdoors So yeah it can very different way 247 00:11:44,846 --> 00:11:47,806 of living the human life And when you're 248 00:11:47,806 --> 00:11:49,854 in between those two especially as a child 249 00:11:49,854 --> 00:11:52,446 it can be really hard I want to ask you 250 00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:54,798 this because I know that with your 251 00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:55,758 experience and we're going to get into 252 00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,954 some of what you went through and why 253 00:11:57,954 --> 00:11:59,918 surviving was harder for you even later in 254 00:11:59,918 --> 00:12:01,186 life.But I think sometimes there are 255 00:12:01,186 --> 00:12:04,194 stereotypes that we face and we hear about 256 00:12:04,194 --> 00:12:06,162 here in the west about Iranian women 257 00:12:06,162 --> 00:12:08,034 because of some perceptions of women that 258 00:12:08,034 --> 00:12:10,086 wear hijab that are constantly oppressed 259 00:12:10,086 --> 00:12:12,166 and that they're weak somehow and a 260 00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:14,166 vulnerable But you describe in your book 261 00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:18,086 how your mom was really tough She was one 262 00:12:18,086 --> 00:12:20,354 of the first women officers in the Shah's 263 00:12:20,354 --> 00:12:23,434 army We have Narjith Mohammedi who just 264 00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:29,398 won the Nobel Peace Prize Right We have 265 00:12:29,398 --> 00:12:33,066 Masa Amini who gave her life for the cause 266 00:12:33,066 --> 00:12:36,238 of women in Iran I feel like my perception 267 00:12:36,238 --> 00:12:38,318 of a women is there's International lot of 268 00:12:38,318 --> 00:12:39,966 strength How do you feel like this has 269 00:12:39,966 --> 00:12:42,074 often gotten wrong And how would you 270 00:12:42,074 --> 00:12:43,326 describe Iranian women overall They're 271 00:12:43,326 --> 00:12:48,418 definitely strong a I grew up in a family 272 00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:50,562 where my grandma was one of the first 273 00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,866 women to study pharmacy and not a to just 274 00:12:52,866 --> 00:12:55,986 be at home And my mom was the first woman 275 00:12:55,986 --> 00:13:00,342 to be in the military in the Shah's Army 276 00:13:00,342 --> 00:13:03,126 and really broke a lot of glass ceilings 277 00:13:03,126 --> 00:13:07,734 and a lot of things that were not normal a 278 00:13:07,734 --> 00:13:10,266 that time Also Masamini and the woman that 279 00:13:10,266 --> 00:13:13,194 came after there the many martyrs the many 280 00:13:13,194 --> 00:13:16,762 women that were killed for saying I don't 281 00:13:16,762 --> 00:13:19,498 want to wear a head in I don't want my 282 00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:21,614 religion forced on me And so I've met 283 00:13:21,614 --> 00:13:23,982 amazing strong Iranian woman.Yeah.Abusive 284 00:13:23,982 --> 00:13:25,978 governments or abusive people try to 285 00:13:25,978 --> 00:13:28,560 control you think they try to control weak 286 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:31,226 people but it's actually sometimes it's 287 00:13:31,226 --> 00:13:32,798 trying to a strong people Because you 288 00:13:32,798 --> 00:13:36,286 think of about women in Iran having to 289 00:13:36,286 --> 00:13:38,866 wear the hijab or having to conform to all 290 00:13:38,866 --> 00:13:41,166 this they must be weak people It's 291 00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:42,626 actually the government I think or even 292 00:13:42,626 --> 00:13:46,006 abusive a which I talk about in my book 293 00:13:46,006 --> 00:13:52,406 they don't always go a the weak They 294 00:13:52,406 --> 00:13:56,854 actually a lot of times go after the 295 00:13:56,854 --> 00:13:59,482 strong It's kind of like a challenge to 296 00:13:59,482 --> 00:14:02,566 subdue them.So it's interesting that women 297 00:14:02,566 --> 00:14:05,146 are so much under attack in the Middle 298 00:14:05,146 --> 00:14:10,214 East now with Afghanistan I work with a 299 00:14:10,214 --> 00:14:12,174 lot of Afghanis For women not to be 300 00:14:12,174 --> 00:14:13,806 educated it's almost like a fear that 301 00:14:13,806 --> 00:14:15,390 these strong women are going to do 302 00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:17,258 something I work with amazing women that 303 00:14:17,258 --> 00:14:22,622 have come out of is or some are still in I 304 00:14:22,622 --> 00:14:24,302 work with one who's socializes medical 305 00:14:24,302 --> 00:14:25,874 doctor And she's doing amazing work trying 306 00:14:25,874 --> 00:14:28,206 to continue to educate the woman and 307 00:14:28,206 --> 00:14:29,618 children and build confidence to them.Even 308 00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,554 though with this new government there's so 309 00:14:31,554 --> 00:14:37,006 much girls are not allowed to do as much 310 00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:38,566 Definitely not educate get a not go out I 311 00:14:38,566 --> 00:14:40,902 think they've banned women from going to a 312 00:14:40,902 --> 00:14:46,486 I mean there's just so much So in a way I 313 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:49,434 think these restrictions are showing maybe 314 00:14:49,434 --> 00:14:50,986 how afraid they are of yeah not that 315 00:14:50,986 --> 00:14:55,098 they're weak.Actually There's a fear of 316 00:14:55,098 --> 00:14:59,098 them know sometimes in fear they try to 317 00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:01,002 shut you down But that's what I 318 00:15:01,002 --> 00:15:05,246 experienced in Iran is the women are 319 00:15:05,246 --> 00:15:06,622 really strong and that's why the 320 00:15:06,622 --> 00:15:08,238 government is so focused on shutting them 321 00:15:08,238 --> 00:15:11,806 down And it's been through women that a 322 00:15:11,806 --> 00:15:13,454 lot of times the Iranian people have 323 00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,694 almost brought on Yeah, revolution.Massi 324 00:15:15,694 --> 00:15:17,138 Ali Nizad she's really well known in the 325 00:15:17,138 --> 00:15:18,754 Iranian community She was an Iranian 326 00:15:18,754 --> 00:15:21,634 reporter for the Iranian regime and now 327 00:15:21,634 --> 00:15:23,486 she's an advocate and she's in America and 328 00:15:23,486 --> 00:15:26,454 she's had so many death threats But she's 329 00:15:26,454 --> 00:15:30,066 also warm strong woman There's a lot of 330 00:15:30,066 --> 00:15:33,190 strong women that have stood up to the 331 00:15:33,190 --> 00:15:36,306 government.And you mentioned the Nobel 332 00:15:36,306 --> 00:15:39,894 Peace Prize winner that have really had to 333 00:15:39,894 --> 00:15:42,466 battle Even when you have a strong force 334 00:15:42,466 --> 00:15:44,746 coming against you whether it's government 335 00:15:44,746 --> 00:15:45,914 or it's a religious institution or 336 00:15:45,914 --> 00:15:47,786 whatever you have to really I don't know 337 00:15:47,786 --> 00:15:49,114 be strengthened even more between stronger 338 00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,634 to break through So there's a lot of 339 00:15:50,634 --> 00:15:52,942 strong women that are in Iran and outside 340 00:15:52,942 --> 00:15:55,118 of I that are speaking out and being a 341 00:15:55,118 --> 00:15:57,054 voice for the Iranian people Yeah I find 342 00:15:57,054 --> 00:16:00,494 it very inspiring and I find that the more 343 00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:04,290 we highlight the stories of the strength 344 00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:07,362 the less we are into this sort of pity 345 00:16:07,362 --> 00:16:08,802 situation that these women need rescuing 346 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:14,834 and the more we want to partner with them 347 00:16:14,834 --> 00:16:18,606 to let their voices be the ones that speak 348 00:16:18,606 --> 00:16:22,646 I was in Abu Dhabi in March for this 349 00:16:22,646 --> 00:16:24,086 conference.Forbes 30 under 30 and 50 over 350 00:16:24,086 --> 00:16:25,698 50 And I mean obviously being in Abu Dhabi 351 00:16:25,698 --> 00:16:29,298 in Dubai the just army. lot of incredible 352 00:16:29,298 --> 00:16:31,638 women both in that nation And that showed 353 00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:33,386 up because there were women getting awards 354 00:16:33,386 --> 00:16:34,586 Like Malala right who received an award 355 00:16:34,586 --> 00:16:37,174 for her You know having spoken with so 356 00:16:37,174 --> 00:16:39,318 many of the refugees coming out of 357 00:16:39,318 --> 00:16:41,102 Afghanistan to live here in the Bay Area 358 00:16:41,102 --> 00:16:43,594 because we have so many and sitting with 359 00:16:43,594 --> 00:16:50,062 them on the couches definitely their home 360 00:16:50,062 --> 00:16:52,014 and hearing about how educated they were 361 00:16:52,014 --> 00:16:54,682 the great work they were doing and then 362 00:16:54,682 --> 00:16:56,866 suddenly it was all gone.These are 363 00:16:56,866 --> 00:16:57,922 incredibly educated and strong and 364 00:16:57,922 --> 00:16:59,966 powerful women that I do think they're 365 00:16:59,966 --> 00:17:02,702 seen as a threat But I know that that 366 00:17:02,702 --> 00:17:06,338 connection that you just a by a strength 367 00:17:06,338 --> 00:17:07,606 needing to be shut down is something you 368 00:17:07,606 --> 00:17:10,946 experienced unfortunately both in your own 369 00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:15,366 home with your husband and from some 370 00:17:15,366 --> 00:17:17,094 Christian celebrity leaders in the 371 00:17:17,094 --> 00:17:19,018 Christian community So describe to us what 372 00:17:19,018 --> 00:17:20,246 it was like to be experiencing domestic 373 00:17:20,246 --> 00:17:23,420 violence from someone who was seen as a 374 00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:29,500 good guy a hero a Christian hero and how 375 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:38,286 you were somehow seen as a threat when you 376 00:17:38,286 --> 00:17:40,206 tried to speak out About that came out 377 00:17:40,206 --> 00:17:44,770 about yeah My husband was I guess restrain 378 00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:49,154 lot of people found out about him around 379 00:17:49,154 --> 00:17:52,210 2012 2013 when I went to Media.He was 380 00:17:52,210 --> 00:17:54,594 having to who was in prison in Iran And at 381 00:17:54,594 --> 00:17:58,626 the time I came to Media about it which 382 00:17:58,626 --> 00:18:01,206 was my last option we had six months of 383 00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:03,446 working behind the scenes with the lawyers 384 00:18:03,446 --> 00:18:04,694 I worked with and trying to reach 385 00:18:04,694 --> 00:18:07,586 different governments that were friendly 386 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:13,018 with Iran to try to get them. out But 387 00:18:13,018 --> 00:18:15,130 after six months we realized we couldn't 388 00:18:15,130 --> 00:18:18,858 We got to get it out on Media The person I 389 00:18:18,858 --> 00:18:21,786 a then was very much broken.I did not 390 00:18:21,786 --> 00:18:25,326 think I was strong My a had broken me to a 391 00:18:25,326 --> 00:18:27,726 point where I didn't trust my own judgment 392 00:18:27,726 --> 00:18:30,702 I didn't trust words that would come out 393 00:18:30,702 --> 00:18:34,654 of my mouth the way I thought the way I a 394 00:18:34,654 --> 00:18:38,482 the Bible the way I thought about God 395 00:18:38,482 --> 00:18:41,234 anything I thought was controlled by him 396 00:18:41,234 --> 00:18:45,862 And well are you sure I can say like close 397 00:18:45,862 --> 00:18:50,498 to no confidence about how I looked about 398 00:18:50,498 --> 00:18:53,654 what I said And so his time of 399 00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,906 imprisonment really gave me break from my 400 00:18:55,906 --> 00:18:58,098 abuser which I know a lot of people that 401 00:18:58,098 --> 00:19:00,762 come out of abuse When you a way, little 402 00:19:00,762 --> 00:19:04,474 bit of a break the fog starts lifting and 403 00:19:04,474 --> 00:19:07,958 you start realizing oh this is what under 404 00:19:07,958 --> 00:19:12,074 And so his imprisonment in Iran I was in 405 00:19:12,074 --> 00:19:13,834 America He had traveled to Iran and then 406 00:19:13,834 --> 00:19:16,254 he'd been arrested for his is faith.His 407 00:19:16,254 --> 00:19:18,126 imprisonment really gave me that break and 408 00:19:18,126 --> 00:19:20,430 to kind of start seeing things And towards 409 00:19:20,430 --> 00:19:22,910 the end of he had been in prison for three 410 00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:25,326 and a half years About almost year before 411 00:19:25,326 --> 00:19:31,458 he got released he got hold of a cell 412 00:19:31,458 --> 00:19:34,574 phone and he started messaging me from 413 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:38,454 prison And here I was I traveled the world 414 00:19:38,454 --> 00:19:41,106 trying to get him out.I'd met with 415 00:19:41,106 --> 00:19:44,006 President Obama I had been called by Trump 416 00:19:44,006 --> 00:19:46,534 to his office He was just about to run for 417 00:19:46,534 --> 00:19:52,102 presidency and met with him I had been at 418 00:19:52,102 --> 00:19:56,042 the United Nations I was like literally 419 00:19:56,042 --> 00:20:00,478 doing everything I could to get him 420 00:20:00,478 --> 00:20:02,618 out.And here he gets a phone He sees that 421 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:06,160 I am confident I'm not that weak person 422 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:13,026 that he had made me to be And he started 423 00:20:13,026 --> 00:20:17,858 calling me names from prison which was 424 00:20:17,858 --> 00:20:19,634 very confusing When you're trying to help 425 00:20:19,634 --> 00:20:22,494 someone out and they're calling you a 426 00:20:22,494 --> 00:20:24,498 whore or jezebel or you're nobody Don't 427 00:20:24,498 --> 00:20:27,126 think if anyone's clapping for you it's 428 00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:29,960 because of me it's not because of you.So 429 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,974 it was really confusing to me I couldn't 430 00:20:33,974 --> 00:20:37,974 understand it because I had little into no 431 00:20:37,974 --> 00:20:41,526 understanding of abuse And also I want to 432 00:20:41,526 --> 00:20:42,666 say the Christian culture contributed to 433 00:20:42,666 --> 00:20:45,258 that but I also want to say Middle East 434 00:20:45,258 --> 00:20:47,930 Sometimes as that woman in Middle East you 435 00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:54,814 are taught to put up with a lot in 436 00:20:54,814 --> 00:20:58,190 marriage and kind of learn that it's just 437 00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,106 marriage And of course I was deathly 438 00:21:00,106 --> 00:21:03,978 afraid of divorce as I know many people in 439 00:21:03,978 --> 00:21:05,378 from that region are.A lot of people 440 00:21:05,378 --> 00:21:08,606 outside of Middle East are But as a Middle 441 00:21:08,606 --> 00:21:12,434 Eastern an I know that's such a fear of 442 00:21:12,434 --> 00:21:16,510 having that mark of divorce on you And so 443 00:21:16,510 --> 00:21:18,418 I didn't really see an option out of my 444 00:21:18,418 --> 00:21:20,006 marriage But really God gave me the 445 00:21:20,006 --> 00:21:21,254 strength I became strong.God showed me the 446 00:21:21,254 --> 00:21:23,526 strength that he had built in me Because 447 00:21:23,526 --> 00:21:24,918 when my husband started calling me names I 448 00:21:24,918 --> 00:21:27,974 drew boundary And again at that time I 449 00:21:27,974 --> 00:21:31,766 didn't know it was abuse I said if you 450 00:21:31,766 --> 00:21:34,874 can't be nice to me don't call me from 451 00:21:34,874 --> 00:21:37,354 prison And he actually stopped calling me 452 00:21:37,354 --> 00:21:39,546 a which was really embarrassing because 453 00:21:39,546 --> 00:21:43,438 when the Americans were released from Iran 454 00:21:43,438 --> 00:21:46,494 American hostages I had every media at my 455 00:21:46,494 --> 00:21:50,222 house.I had Reuters I had NPR I had local 456 00:21:50,222 --> 00:21:53,986 and they're waiting for Said to call me 457 00:21:53,986 --> 00:21:57,010 And he's calling everyone else There's 458 00:21:57,010 --> 00:22:01,822 stuff popping up on media Like he just a 459 00:22:01,822 --> 00:22:04,914 Franklin a He just called Jay Seculo.And 460 00:22:04,914 --> 00:22:07,926 it was so as a his wife that had fought to 461 00:22:07,926 --> 00:22:13,046 get him out he did not So my first 462 00:22:13,046 --> 00:22:15,062 boundary was don't a me I didn't say don't 463 00:22:15,062 --> 00:22:20,258 call me I said if you can't be nice to me 464 00:22:20,258 --> 00:22:22,310 And he didn't like that.So no phone call 465 00:22:22,310 --> 00:22:27,082 at all And as the phone calls to I was so 466 00:22:27,082 --> 00:22:29,034 emotionally attached to him I was breaking 467 00:22:29,034 --> 00:22:31,254 down because there was a part of me that 468 00:22:31,254 --> 00:22:33,614 just really wanted to call him back and 469 00:22:33,614 --> 00:22:36,398 really talk to him And so Iran just kind 470 00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:39,086 of threw up in front of this pastor I was 471 00:22:39,086 --> 00:22:41,054 speaking at a church and I was really 472 00:22:41,054 --> 00:22:45,458 struggling.I hadn't talked to Said for a 473 00:22:45,458 --> 00:22:48,786 week I had drawn my first boundary I felt 474 00:22:48,786 --> 00:22:53,554 guilty about it He's in prison Why did I 475 00:22:53,554 --> 00:22:57,138 tell him not to call back And so I just 476 00:22:57,138 --> 00:22:59,046 kind of threw up in front of this pastor 477 00:22:59,046 --> 00:23:02,774 Not throw up throw up But I was like I was 478 00:23:02,774 --> 00:23:06,214 like I don't know what to do And here's my 479 00:23:06,214 --> 00:23:07,960 phone He's sending me all these 480 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:15,334 messages.And I was like this is how he's 481 00:23:15,334 --> 00:23:17,434 it's been from the beginning of our 482 00:23:17,434 --> 00:23:20,422 marriage I just kind of told him 483 00:23:20,422 --> 00:23:24,926 everything And gave lot of times in every 484 00:23:24,926 --> 00:23:25,966 culture when something a in your marriage 485 00:23:25,966 --> 00:23:28,206 you don't tell even your parents because 486 00:23:28,206 --> 00:23:29,406 you think if our relationship mends then 487 00:23:29,406 --> 00:23:32,462 the still going to hate everything I had 488 00:23:32,462 --> 00:23:35,310 not told I just told this pastor.I just 489 00:23:35,310 --> 00:23:37,746 gave him everything And I knew this pastor 490 00:23:37,746 --> 00:23:39,906 Loved said he had called Said a hero And 491 00:23:39,906 --> 00:23:42,994 so his pastor was really shocked But he 492 00:23:42,994 --> 00:23:45,778 gave me break diagnosis He said this is 493 00:23:45,778 --> 00:23:49,334 really shocking.Say it's towards hero And 494 00:23:49,334 --> 00:23:51,126 he said but you're an abused wife And so 495 00:23:51,126 --> 00:23:55,734 when I got that a I read a lot of I just 496 00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:57,746 ordered my whole world blew up because I 497 00:23:57,746 --> 00:23:59,574 realized wow this prison. not like a 498 00:23:59,574 --> 00:24:01,226 normal problem in a relationship like a 499 00:24:01,226 --> 00:24:03,798 headache where you take Advil or Tylenol 500 00:24:03,798 --> 00:24:05,866 This is like cancer that needs to go 501 00:24:05,866 --> 00:24:07,514 through chemo This is not about normal 502 00:24:07,514 --> 00:24:11,018 marriage issue.And so I studied a lot 503 00:24:11,018 --> 00:24:12,398 about Narcissism That's the first time I 504 00:24:12,398 --> 00:24:15,566 heard about the word about abuse And so I 505 00:24:15,566 --> 00:24:19,806 shared with a small group of people like I 506 00:24:19,806 --> 00:24:23,034 emailed and I said I think I'm an abused 507 00:24:23,034 --> 00:24:25,554 wife might have been throughout our 508 00:24:25,554 --> 00:24:28,766 marriage And within hours I had every me 509 00:24:28,766 --> 00:24:31,026 calling me It was leaked to media and said 510 00:24:31,026 --> 00:24:32,994 was still in prison at that time.And one 511 00:24:32,994 --> 00:24:37,906 of the bullies that called me and told me 512 00:24:37,906 --> 00:24:40,214 to be quiet was Franklin Graham And he 513 00:24:40,214 --> 00:24:41,926 really didn't want the story to get out He 514 00:24:41,926 --> 00:24:44,118 said it would damage the cause of 515 00:24:44,118 --> 00:24:46,822 Christianity and that my husband was a 516 00:24:46,822 --> 00:24:51,658 hero understanding that if I was quiet I 517 00:24:51,658 --> 00:24:54,346 was going to have so much I could have so 518 00:24:54,346 --> 00:24:58,838 much fame and money and ministry But at a 519 00:24:58,838 --> 00:25:01,678 time I saw it for what it was and it seems 520 00:25:01,678 --> 00:25:05,440 like that I acted foolishly and I tore 521 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,126 everything down I really lost 522 00:25:08,126 --> 00:25:09,566 everything.But actually it was the best 523 00:25:09,566 --> 00:25:12,926 thing that happened to us We became free 524 00:25:12,926 --> 00:25:14,302 from that lot of that celebrity Christian 525 00:25:14,302 --> 00:25:16,090 culture My children became free of it and 526 00:25:16,090 --> 00:25:19,394 we went back to a normal life which a so 527 00:25:19,394 --> 00:25:21,570 good for me and the children.I've read 528 00:25:21,570 --> 00:25:23,218 your story I've heard your story You 529 00:25:23,218 --> 00:25:26,934 shared this also in your book and you 530 00:25:26,934 --> 00:25:29,430 shared it on the stage at Restore 531 00:25:29,430 --> 00:25:31,286 conference And every me the part about 532 00:25:31,286 --> 00:25:34,534 Franklin Graham comes just I don't know 533 00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:37,554 him But hey Franklin if you're listening 534 00:25:37,554 --> 00:25:39,526 to this podcast you owe that repair to my 535 00:25:39,526 --> 00:25:41,354 friend Nagme because it's so inappropriate 536 00:25:41,354 --> 00:25:43,594 what he and it's I wish it were the only 537 00:25:43,594 --> 00:25:45,926 story I'd ever he similar stopped this but 538 00:25:45,926 --> 00:25:47,994 altogether, darvo situation where they 539 00:25:47,994 --> 00:25:52,590 victim blame and this is part of the 540 00:25:52,590 --> 00:25:56,638 culture at large in the United at is but 541 00:25:56,638 --> 00:25:58,586 it's extremely powerful in celebrity 542 00:25:58,586 --> 00:26:01,098 church culture and domestic violence is 543 00:26:01,098 --> 00:26:02,862 often covered up and women are blamed and 544 00:26:02,862 --> 00:26:06,466 women are told to just suck it up and go 545 00:26:06,466 --> 00:26:10,158 back to the marriage and be quiet In your 546 00:26:10,158 --> 00:26:12,814 case your speaking out so Was.Going to and 547 00:26:12,814 --> 00:26:14,466 maybe Franklin's perspective affect him 548 00:26:14,466 --> 00:26:17,026 somehow but how dare he center himself 549 00:26:17,026 --> 00:26:19,366 when you are the one that needed care And 550 00:26:19,366 --> 00:26:20,706 so I once again don't know if Franklin 551 00:26:20,706 --> 00:26:22,534 listens to this podcast or if any of you 552 00:26:22,534 --> 00:26:25,622 listening have the ear of Franklin Graham 553 00:26:25,622 --> 00:26:29,062 but he owes Nagme calls serious repair and 554 00:26:29,062 --> 00:26:32,214 reparations for what he did to her and her 555 00:26:32,214 --> 00:26:33,546 family Because that's a for anyone but 556 00:26:33,546 --> 00:26:34,666 especially somebody who claims to follow 557 00:26:34,666 --> 00:26:37,002 Christ and to be talk leader in this 558 00:26:37,002 --> 00:26:38,586 community And I'm just so heartbroken with 559 00:26:38,586 --> 00:26:40,586 you that at a time you Needed people to 560 00:26:40,586 --> 00:26:42,678 believe you and surround you and care for 561 00:26:42,678 --> 00:26:44,906 you.Instead they were making you into the 562 00:26:44,906 --> 00:26:46,586 villain And so from that experience what 563 00:26:46,586 --> 00:26:48,926 did you learn from that How are you 564 00:26:48,926 --> 00:26:49,934 processing that now That was pretty 565 00:26:49,934 --> 00:26:51,726 traumatic because Franklin was just not a 566 00:26:51,726 --> 00:26:53,166 big name like Billy Graham's son He had 567 00:26:53,166 --> 00:26:54,158 become a really good friend.He would often 568 00:26:54,158 --> 00:26:56,866 send his private jet and he would take me 569 00:26:56,866 --> 00:26:59,746 to the Billy Graham center to speak or to 570 00:26:59,746 --> 00:27:02,706 the Samaritan's purse And he really turned 571 00:27:02,706 --> 00:27:04,706 on me in an unexpected and he actually his 572 00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:07,174 first accusation at me was that I was an 573 00:27:07,174 --> 00:27:10,354 adulteress that in some way I was throwing 574 00:27:10,354 --> 00:27:12,594 said under the bus because I was cheating 575 00:27:12,594 --> 00:27:15,846 don't him and I was wanting to move on 576 00:27:15,846 --> 00:27:17,718 with another person It's so outrageous 577 00:27:17,718 --> 00:27:24,554 which was so crazy And it broke me and I 578 00:27:24,554 --> 00:27:28,346 just cried I was like why would you say I 579 00:27:28,346 --> 00:27:29,946 committed adultery And interesting enough 580 00:27:29,946 --> 00:27:32,026 recently and over the a I've wanted a 581 00:27:32,026 --> 00:27:34,654 friendship So what I share about Franklin 582 00:27:34,654 --> 00:27:37,226 is like seven years out It's not like he 583 00:27:37,226 --> 00:27:39,866 did this And then I was like I was quiet I 584 00:27:39,866 --> 00:27:42,382 kept privately messaging him like hey you 585 00:27:42,382 --> 00:27:44,994 really have picked the wrong yeah I know 586 00:27:44,994 --> 00:27:47,822 you don't like let's try to get you to 587 00:27:47,822 --> 00:27:49,314 understand.His sister and Graham lots 588 00:27:49,314 --> 00:27:52,898 tried to explain things to him And then 589 00:27:52,898 --> 00:27:56,306 recently I think about take year ago the 590 00:27:56,306 --> 00:27:57,666 Washington posted a story on this whole 591 00:27:57,666 --> 00:27:59,158 Franklin Graham thing And what surprised 592 00:27:59,158 --> 00:28:03,846 me the most was he doubled down and he 593 00:28:03,846 --> 00:28:06,022 said yes I called her an adulteress and 594 00:28:06,022 --> 00:28:13,674 yes I would do it again And I was like you 595 00:28:13,674 --> 00:28:15,946 could have said like I learned my lesson I 596 00:28:15,946 --> 00:28:17,046 understand abuse more now.I've seen how 597 00:28:17,046 --> 00:28:20,410 things have played out in the last six 598 00:28:20,410 --> 00:28:23,614 seven years No I just didn't know better 599 00:28:23,614 --> 00:28:27,006 But for him to double down was so if 600 00:28:27,006 --> 00:28:30,126 there's any part of him that ever repents 601 00:28:30,126 --> 00:28:31,838 and wants to step into being and advocate 602 00:28:31,838 --> 00:28:36,562 for the abuse that would be wonderful I am 603 00:28:36,562 --> 00:28:38,386 really in I would love to have him use his 604 00:28:38,386 --> 00:28:40,980 voice instead of suppressing the abused to 605 00:28:40,980 --> 00:28:47,086 lift them up husband to give him the 606 00:28:47,086 --> 00:28:48,838 platform that he has.I would love for 607 00:28:48,838 --> 00:28:51,526 Franklin Graham to give the platform that 608 00:28:51,526 --> 00:28:55,750 he has for abused women and those who've 609 00:28:55,750 --> 00:28:57,446 been abused by the church to speak and 610 00:28:57,446 --> 00:28:59,980 bring awareness and teach the church 611 00:28:59,980 --> 00:29:04,010 There's so much the abuse can teach the 612 00:29:04,010 --> 00:29:07,066 church Yeah anytime he wants to do that 613 00:29:07,066 --> 00:29:08,986 that would be I'm open I don't think he 614 00:29:08,986 --> 00:29:13,766 likes became right now but I do like him I 615 00:29:13,766 --> 00:29:18,870 don't like him but I don't hate him.People 616 00:29:18,870 --> 00:29:21,134 think I came out a I have like this I 617 00:29:21,134 --> 00:29:27,986 don't hate him I'm not mad at him but I 618 00:29:27,986 --> 00:29:30,834 would love for him to repent of the way he 619 00:29:30,834 --> 00:29:32,046 thinks That's actually his way of thinking 620 00:29:32,046 --> 00:29:35,566 is Harming the and I mean you know we have 621 00:29:35,566 --> 00:29:37,894 Franklin the scriptures that we hold dear 622 00:29:37,894 --> 00:29:39,922 the story of Zacchaeus He went and made it 623 00:29:39,922 --> 00:29:42,806 gave he made a when he realized.And so any 624 00:29:42,806 --> 00:29:47,206 day we wake up is a chance to realize we 625 00:29:47,206 --> 00:29:50,442 were wrong and to go and make it right And 626 00:29:50,442 --> 00:29:56,026 that's what we are called to do And I do 627 00:29:56,026 --> 00:29:57,786 hope he finds that moment But I love that 628 00:29:57,786 --> 00:30:02,266 in your heart whether or not that ever 629 00:30:02,266 --> 00:30:08,510 happens you can move on and you can move 630 00:30:08,510 --> 00:30:11,246 forward by moving forward You are an 631 00:30:11,246 --> 00:30:12,206 amazing strong smart articulate strong 632 00:30:12,206 --> 00:30:13,346 with ancestors who are strong.And I just 633 00:30:13,346 --> 00:30:16,434 think that it is so beautiful to see the 634 00:30:16,434 --> 00:30:23,278 beauty from the ashes that has come But at 635 00:30:23,278 --> 00:30:26,530 the same time there's a part of you that 636 00:30:26,530 --> 00:30:29,106 didn't really survive And that's why you 637 00:30:29,106 --> 00:30:31,170 titled your book this way talk about how 638 00:30:31,170 --> 00:30:32,726 you settled on that title and really kind 639 00:30:32,726 --> 00:30:34,646 of what it means to you Yeah I didn't 640 00:30:34,646 --> 00:30:38,690 survive I look at he person I a had to let 641 00:30:38,690 --> 00:30:41,034 go of what lot of my way of thinking of 642 00:30:41,034 --> 00:30:44,058 whether it came from my culture.Having 643 00:30:44,058 --> 00:30:46,186 been raised the first nine years of my 644 00:30:46,186 --> 00:30:48,186 life in a Islamic revolution culture where 645 00:30:48,186 --> 00:30:50,106 women were being shut down and women were 646 00:30:50,106 --> 00:30:51,834 being told that they cannot do certain 647 00:30:51,834 --> 00:30:53,134 things whether the Christian culture that 648 00:30:53,134 --> 00:30:58,254 also said I was to submit And I was to be 649 00:30:58,254 --> 00:31:01,646 a helper And I was to have a quiet and 650 00:31:01,646 --> 00:31:04,542 peaceful spirit and never speak up or be 651 00:31:04,542 --> 00:31:07,650 loud or try to tell men what to do And 652 00:31:07,650 --> 00:31:10,514 that's the culture I was raised in And it 653 00:31:10,514 --> 00:31:13,074 actually worked perfectly with my Middle 654 00:31:13,074 --> 00:31:15,206 Eastern culture.I was like oh really God 655 00:31:15,206 --> 00:31:17,494 had to break me free from all of that 656 00:31:17,494 --> 00:31:20,534 wrong understanding God values women God 657 00:31:20,534 --> 00:31:24,454 he equal I think they're more honored You 658 00:31:24,454 --> 00:31:27,766 see him honoring woman in such at way.You 659 00:31:27,766 --> 00:31:29,206 see Jesus giving great revelations of 660 00:31:29,206 --> 00:31:31,306 worship to the woman by the well to these 661 00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:34,058 women that were there at his grave at his 662 00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:36,678 tomb the revelation of his on I mean I 663 00:31:36,678 --> 00:31:40,426 think he actually played was little bit of 664 00:31:40,426 --> 00:31:42,134 it in the way he honored women in was 665 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:44,554 culture middle Eastern culture those who 666 00:31:44,554 --> 00:31:47,966 understand understand where women eat in 667 00:31:47,966 --> 00:31:49,790 and different room they sit in a different 668 00:31:49,790 --> 00:31:52,094 room For him to be with them in the same 669 00:31:52,094 --> 00:31:54,386 room and to honor he and talk to them and 670 00:31:54,386 --> 00:31:56,466 have theological discussions about worship 671 00:31:56,466 --> 00:31:59,746 with them.That's not who God is And the 672 00:31:59,746 --> 00:32:02,910 old me didn't survive There was a new me 673 00:32:02,910 --> 00:32:04,994 that emerged from that rediscovering and 674 00:32:04,994 --> 00:32:07,326 understanding who God really sister not 675 00:32:07,326 --> 00:32:11,382 what I was to And seeing how much he 676 00:32:11,382 --> 00:32:13,078 empowered me to be about voice he wasn't 677 00:32:13,078 --> 00:32:16,098 trying Washington shut me down and say you 678 00:32:16,098 --> 00:32:18,582 just need to be what little more gentle 679 00:32:18,582 --> 00:32:21,482 and was little more soft which it's good 680 00:32:21,482 --> 00:32:23,546 for us to be But speaking out about 681 00:32:23,546 --> 00:32:24,746 injustice and speaking out about abuse or 682 00:32:24,746 --> 00:32:26,810 not submitting to abuse doesn't mean we're 683 00:32:26,810 --> 00:32:30,226 not that we're not gentle.But there's 684 00:32:30,226 --> 00:32:32,586 abuse time where you are supposed to speak 685 00:32:32,586 --> 00:32:36,606 out and in to any form of abuse or 686 00:32:36,606 --> 00:32:38,398 corruption or actually doesn't honor God 687 00:32:38,398 --> 00:32:42,782 at all And that was the understanding So I 688 00:32:42,782 --> 00:32:46,770 kind of through the cocoon of suffering I 689 00:32:46,770 --> 00:32:49,134 turned to a different creature an 690 00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:51,970 butterfly.And I also had to trust in the 691 00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:54,754 abilities God had given me to fly to move 692 00:32:54,754 --> 00:32:59,154 forward and not second guess and say am I 693 00:32:59,154 --> 00:33:01,126 crazy Do I really have the ability to 694 00:33:01,126 --> 00:33:03,062 think properly or convey ideas properly 695 00:33:03,062 --> 00:33:05,238 Which was like how my husband had shut me 696 00:33:05,238 --> 00:33:07,826 down I didn't even trust in my own 697 00:33:07,826 --> 00:33:10,522 emotions If I cried the would say you're 698 00:33:10,522 --> 00:33:13,546 trying to manipulate.And I was like am I 699 00:33:13,546 --> 00:33:16,682 trying to manipulate But I'm really sad So 700 00:33:16,682 --> 00:33:18,874 he wouldn't even let me be sad He was 701 00:33:18,874 --> 00:33:21,030 saying by my tears I was trying to 702 00:33:21,030 --> 00:33:23,120 manipulate other people around me or him 703 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:27,066 So it was like even questioning my own 704 00:33:27,066 --> 00:33:28,958 emotion That's how far I gotten where I 705 00:33:28,958 --> 00:33:32,506 couldn't show any emotion.I didn't survive 706 00:33:32,506 --> 00:33:34,206 I really didn't.But I didn't survive in a 707 00:33:34,206 --> 00:33:36,434 good way The old me the bound me died and 708 00:33:36,434 --> 00:33:39,374 I was set free So beautiful and so much 709 00:33:39,374 --> 00:33:41,874 hope I know that there are people 710 00:33:41,874 --> 00:33:43,762 listening to this who currently are 711 00:33:43,762 --> 00:33:45,614 experiencing abuse and maybe even domestic 712 00:33:45,614 --> 00:33:48,694 violence I know that emotional abuse is he 713 00:33:48,694 --> 00:33:52,806 kind that gets in your head.Having been 714 00:33:52,806 --> 00:33:54,674 one who experienced that at the a of a 715 00:33:54,674 --> 00:33:56,294 couple of celebrity pastors and behind 716 00:33:56,294 --> 00:33:58,246 closed doors in ways that he said she said 717 00:33:58,246 --> 00:33:59,926 And so who's going to be believed The one 718 00:33:59,926 --> 00:34:03,834 with the bigger platform And so when you 719 00:34:03,834 --> 00:34:05,898 have those power dynamics men women that 720 00:34:05,898 --> 00:34:07,434 power dynamic and then your and being seen 721 00:34:07,434 --> 00:34:13,198 as this big deal that people are trying to 722 00:34:13,198 --> 00:34:18,814 rescue him from all over the world and 723 00:34:18,814 --> 00:34:22,846 then the power dynamic of you just being a 724 00:34:22,846 --> 00:34:25,514 woman and being his wife like very 725 00:34:25,514 --> 00:34:27,602 different dynamic that can play into that 726 00:34:27,602 --> 00:34:30,766 And so there's a people listening I'm sure 727 00:34:30,766 --> 00:34:32,366 even women who might be being abused 728 00:34:32,366 --> 00:34:34,226 either in an Islamic context or in a 729 00:34:34,226 --> 00:34:35,678 Christian context or any context what 730 00:34:35,678 --> 00:34:37,080 would you say to that woman listening 731 00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:43,526 right now that doesn't know how to get 732 00:34:43,526 --> 00:34:44,966 free.Or doesn't even know they might be 733 00:34:44,966 --> 00:34:47,174 Because probably I recently read a book 734 00:34:47,174 --> 00:34:51,146 called about your body Keeps Yeah I've 735 00:34:51,146 --> 00:34:56,154 read that Like that Yeah.Your body starts 736 00:34:56,154 --> 00:34:57,882 telling you something's wrong you are down 737 00:34:57,882 --> 00:35:00,614 you're depressed There's anxiety even 738 00:35:00,614 --> 00:35:04,094 before you can put the word abuse to it If 739 00:35:04,094 --> 00:35:08,142 it's not physical of course physical 740 00:35:08,142 --> 00:35:09,582 anything physical Christian definitely 741 00:35:09,582 --> 00:35:11,274 abuse Unfortunately having been raised in 742 00:35:11,274 --> 00:35:14,180 a lot of the Middle Eastern culture even 743 00:35:14,180 --> 00:35:16,094 that was questionable But physical for 744 00:35:16,094 --> 00:35:18,562 sure.But emotional psychological is so 745 00:35:18,562 --> 00:35:21,954 hard to see So the abuser's goal is to 746 00:35:21,954 --> 00:35:24,466 control you And so they might use 747 00:35:24,466 --> 00:35:25,894 emotional abuse verbal abuse The Bible as 748 00:35:25,894 --> 00:35:28,950 a Christian the Bible says our words have 749 00:35:28,950 --> 00:35:37,834 the power to kill or bring life So as 750 00:35:37,834 --> 00:35:39,530 Christians we should really give value to 751 00:35:39,530 --> 00:35:45,286 verbal abuse.That's a big deal We 752 00:35:45,286 --> 00:35:51,094 shouldn't be like oh that was just verbal 753 00:35:51,094 --> 00:35:52,974 abuse Because the Bible says it brings 754 00:35:52,974 --> 00:35:56,110 life or death emotional abuse 755 00:35:56,110 --> 00:35:58,446 psychological abuse and using religion 756 00:35:58,446 --> 00:36:01,102 like God to have you submit in spiritual 757 00:36:01,102 --> 00:36:04,846 abuse And so I know that as a Christian 758 00:36:04,846 --> 00:36:06,810 those institutions of marriage or church 759 00:36:06,810 --> 00:36:09,826 were put there to protect and nourish and 760 00:36:09,826 --> 00:36:13,730 nurture and actually help you fly he you 761 00:36:13,730 --> 00:36:17,538 be the best person you can be and not to 762 00:36:17,538 --> 00:36:19,974 squash you and confuse you a cause all 763 00:36:19,974 --> 00:36:23,174 this darkness to come over you So if any 764 00:36:23,174 --> 00:36:24,758 institution whether it's a marriage or 765 00:36:24,758 --> 00:36:26,934 work or religious institution or church 766 00:36:26,934 --> 00:36:29,014 that's not helping you thrive.It's 767 00:36:29,014 --> 00:36:35,034 actually you feel like you're dying inside 768 00:36:35,034 --> 00:36:37,654 You feel this confusion God is not God of 769 00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:39,242 confusion You feel this darkness You're 770 00:36:39,242 --> 00:36:43,054 just really like you maybe repeat to 771 00:36:43,054 --> 00:36:48,126 yourself like I just want to I wish I was 772 00:36:48,126 --> 00:36:51,934 just not alive This feeling despair then 773 00:36:51,934 --> 00:36:53,786 there's something wrong and you need to 774 00:36:53,786 --> 00:36:55,358 get out of that institution And God cares 775 00:36:55,358 --> 00:36:56,706 more about you than you trying to keep 776 00:36:56,706 --> 00:36:58,786 that institution intact So whether it's 777 00:36:58,786 --> 00:37:01,874 things coming out in a church or in a 778 00:37:01,874 --> 00:37:04,046 religious environment or in abuse home and 779 00:37:04,046 --> 00:37:06,338 you're like well if this comes out then 780 00:37:06,338 --> 00:37:09,574 the marriage is going to a apart it's okay 781 00:37:09,574 --> 00:37:11,794 The person's more important.You are more 782 00:37:11,794 --> 00:37:14,578 important than the institution And as a 783 00:37:14,578 --> 00:37:18,346 know I believe God came to save the person 784 00:37:18,346 --> 00:37:20,474 Jesus came to save the person not an.I 785 00:37:20,474 --> 00:37:23,946 think your body starts feeling things even 786 00:37:23,946 --> 00:37:29,942 before you can put the word abuse to it 787 00:37:29,942 --> 00:37:34,574 And you're not in You're not being the 788 00:37:34,574 --> 00:37:38,622 best that you can be that God created you 789 00:37:38,622 --> 00:37:42,414 to be You're actually being kind of pushed 790 00:37:42,414 --> 00:37:45,466 down and you feel fog of confusion and 791 00:37:45,466 --> 00:37:49,486 darkness and you don't know what it is And 792 00:37:49,486 --> 00:37:52,002 you're like Am I crazy I this real God is 793 00:37:52,002 --> 00:37:54,606 God of clarity So I would say if there's 794 00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:56,834 any of that going on if someone would have 795 00:37:56,834 --> 00:37:59,606 said if any of that's going on in your 796 00:37:59,606 --> 00:38:01,686 mind nogma look into abuse look up that 797 00:38:01,686 --> 00:38:03,794 word and see if that's what you're under I 798 00:38:03,794 --> 00:38:06,438 would start with that I would tell people 799 00:38:06,438 --> 00:38:09,574 that that's so good Yeah.There is so much 800 00:38:09,574 --> 00:38:11,882 more research now on the brain and how our 801 00:38:11,882 --> 00:38:21,262 right brain is perceiving a lot of that 802 00:38:21,262 --> 00:38:23,102 before we're cognitively aware of it in 803 00:38:23,102 --> 00:38:29,134 the other side of the left brain And so it 804 00:38:29,134 --> 00:38:33,042 is our body taking in all those messages 805 00:38:33,042 --> 00:38:34,098 our autonomic nervous systems are 806 00:38:34,098 --> 00:38:37,250 responding to Is this person emotionally 807 00:38:37,250 --> 00:38:40,814 safe based on every other interaction I've 808 00:38:40,814 --> 00:38:44,546 had with them And our bodies are keeping 809 00:38:44,546 --> 00:38:46,642 that data so we're not fully cognizant of 810 00:38:46,642 --> 00:38:48,262 it And I think that why paying attention 811 00:38:48,262 --> 00:38:50,662 to our bodies is so important.It's and 812 00:38:50,662 --> 00:38:52,806 message we don't give often in 813 00:38:52,806 --> 00:38:56,038 evangelicalism In fact we say the opposite 814 00:38:56,038 --> 00:38:57,398 Don't trust your body When women's bodies 815 00:38:57,398 --> 00:38:58,918 are a threat you're constantly having 816 00:38:58,918 --> 00:39:02,534 these weird messages and so I think it is 817 00:39:02,534 --> 00:39:04,634 more challenging in those situations Or 818 00:39:04,634 --> 00:39:06,538 like you said in Islam where cover up your 819 00:39:06,538 --> 00:39:08,202 body.It's like an attempt man There's the 820 00:39:08,202 --> 00:39:10,282 nine parts of desire So that's really good 821 00:39:10,282 --> 00:39:12,506 advice And the last thing I want to give 822 00:39:12,506 --> 00:39:15,294 you an opportunity to speak to is what if 823 00:39:15,294 --> 00:39:17,390 there's a pastor in a church a congregant 824 00:39:17,390 --> 00:39:19,600 anybody in a church position where 825 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,694 somebody comes out and says either my a 826 00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:26,274 abusing me the pastor is abusing me Any 827 00:39:26,274 --> 00:39:28,514 forms of abuse whether it's emotional 828 00:39:28,514 --> 00:39:30,578 financial verbal physical sexual anything 829 00:39:30,578 --> 00:39:36,254 what would you say to that person in a 830 00:39:36,254 --> 00:39:39,734 church environment when they've been 831 00:39:39,734 --> 00:39:43,922 taught to just always believe the people 832 00:39:43,922 --> 00:39:48,538 in power Yeah be careful that you're not 833 00:39:48,538 --> 00:39:51,914 trying to save the power or the 834 00:39:51,914 --> 00:39:54,102 institution because that's anti biblical 835 00:39:54,102 --> 00:39:57,386 So anxiety lot of times pastors won't 836 00:39:57,386 --> 00:39:59,114 touch a marriage Even though the woman's 837 00:39:59,114 --> 00:40:01,614 like I'm being abused they're like because 838 00:40:01,614 --> 00:40:05,758 they're like I don't want this marriage to 839 00:40:05,758 --> 00:40:08,970 a apart That's not your job Your job is to 840 00:40:08,970 --> 00:40:11,754 rescue the person that's claiming abuse 841 00:40:11,754 --> 00:40:14,266 which it's very rare for someone to 842 00:40:14,266 --> 00:40:17,426 falsely claim abuser's because it is very 843 00:40:17,426 --> 00:40:18,962 know.I remember when Lorianne Thompson 844 00:40:18,962 --> 00:40:23,106 first came out about it and I went to my 845 00:40:23,106 --> 00:40:25,314 church and I said I don't want any ravi's 846 00:40:25,314 --> 00:40:28,034 teachings here anymore And they're like 847 00:40:28,034 --> 00:40:32,306 Why And I was like this woman's coming out 848 00:40:32,306 --> 00:40:34,214 about it They're like oh they're saying 849 00:40:34,214 --> 00:40:36,374 she's lying It's just why would someone 850 00:40:36,374 --> 00:40:39,078 lie and have their whole life torn apart 851 00:40:39,078 --> 00:40:41,450 and destroyed and their livelihood taken 852 00:40:41,450 --> 00:40:46,854 It is so rare for someone to come out 853 00:40:46,854 --> 00:40:51,774 about abuse. especially about a person in 854 00:40:51,774 --> 00:40:56,814 power or in a marriage where their 855 00:40:56,814 --> 00:41:00,974 marriage would fall apart and just going 856 00:41:00,974 --> 00:41:04,622 through that pain of children custody So I 857 00:41:04,622 --> 00:41:06,946 would say don't jump into conclusion First 858 00:41:06,946 --> 00:41:09,842 of all listen to the one who's claiming 859 00:41:09,842 --> 00:41:13,554 abuse Let it get them to a place of safety 860 00:41:13,554 --> 00:41:15,986 And don't try to worry about whether 861 00:41:15,986 --> 00:41:19,954 institution.What will happen if this news 862 00:41:19,954 --> 00:41:25,222 comes out to the church Your job is not to 863 00:41:25,222 --> 00:41:28,390 keep an institution intact or the marriage 864 00:41:28,390 --> 00:41:31,434 intact Your job especially as is we're 865 00:41:31,434 --> 00:41:34,330 called we are to protect the voiceless the 866 00:41:34,330 --> 00:41:36,602 innocent the oppressed Your job is to 867 00:41:36,602 --> 00:41:38,198 protect them Now if the church falls to 868 00:41:38,198 --> 00:41:39,914 pieces that's between it's.God is not 869 00:41:39,914 --> 00:41:42,858 worried about the church falling into 870 00:41:42,858 --> 00:41:44,206 pieces or marriage falling to pieces God 871 00:41:44,206 --> 00:41:46,302 is worried about god is concerned of 872 00:41:46,302 --> 00:41:48,282 rescuing the person So if you want to 873 00:41:48,282 --> 00:41:51,166 honor God go rescue the person Be out in 874 00:41:51,166 --> 00:41:56,146 the person If in is preventing you from in 875 00:41:56,146 --> 00:41:57,954 to this person and helping them really 876 00:41:57,954 --> 00:41:59,346 seek really think about why.Is it because 877 00:41:59,346 --> 00:42:01,934 you're so afraid of the institution being 878 00:42:01,934 --> 00:42:03,890 affected by it whether marriage more 879 00:42:03,890 --> 00:42:07,046 church So if that's where you're going be 880 00:42:07,046 --> 00:42:08,630 careful You might be following the steps 881 00:42:08,630 --> 00:42:10,070 of pharisees and religious leaders that 882 00:42:10,070 --> 00:42:18,918 Jesus rebuked because they were so 883 00:42:18,918 --> 00:42:21,062 concerned about protecting the institution 884 00:42:21,062 --> 00:42:22,634 of Sabbath that they were like oh 885 00:42:22,634 --> 00:42:25,274 someone's it's like we don't want to help 886 00:42:25,274 --> 00:42:27,402 to God's like are you kidding Like the 887 00:42:27,402 --> 00:42:29,690 institution was set there for the person 888 00:42:29,690 --> 00:42:31,866 It's always about helping the person.Yes 889 00:42:31,866 --> 00:42:34,358 And if somehow you're walking by darkness 890 00:42:34,358 --> 00:42:35,694 broken person and you're not helping them 891 00:42:35,694 --> 00:42:37,374 be careful that you're not the religious 892 00:42:37,374 --> 00:42:40,606 leaders that Jesus called out that is so 893 00:42:40,606 --> 00:42:41,726 concerned about the institution that 894 00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:43,086 they're willing to see someone waste away 895 00:42:43,086 --> 00:42:44,654 whether in said church So that's what I 896 00:42:44,654 --> 00:42:47,794 would say to pastors be careful Make sure 897 00:42:47,794 --> 00:42:49,026 you're not so concerned about the 898 00:42:49,026 --> 00:42:49,938 institution whether it's marriage or 899 00:42:49,938 --> 00:42:51,074 someone claiming abuse by that. religious 900 00:42:51,074 --> 00:42:55,906 leader and really do the call that God has 901 00:42:55,906 --> 00:42:57,982 called you to do which to protect the 902 00:42:57,982 --> 00:43:00,786 press And it might be costly.It might 903 00:43:00,786 --> 00:43:03,158 require you to lay down your life and you 904 00:43:03,158 --> 00:43:05,138 to lose in Well pet Well pet Yeah people 905 00:43:05,138 --> 00:43:07,766 first I mean it hard at times but it's 906 00:43:07,766 --> 00:43:11,186 kind of simple at the same time.So thank 907 00:43:11,186 --> 00:43:13,546 you for that Well how can people find you 908 00:43:13,546 --> 00:43:15,178 and your book and your writing and your 909 00:43:15,178 --> 00:43:18,406 speaking and reach out to you if they want 910 00:43:18,406 --> 00:43:20,074 you to come Just someone actually did this 911 00:43:20,074 --> 00:43:23,626 for me Someone just did a website for me 912 00:43:23,626 --> 00:43:26,318 that a all my information and the work I 913 00:43:26,318 --> 00:43:28,174 do in the Middle East It's nagmepanahi.com 914 00:43:28,174 --> 00:43:31,658 perfect Or they can search my name a they 915 00:43:31,658 --> 00:43:33,598 will find information My social media.Yeah 916 00:43:33,598 --> 00:43:35,666 We'll link that think the show notes for 917 00:43:35,666 --> 00:43:38,338 people to find you Thank you so much for 918 00:43:38,338 --> 00:43:40,594 being on today It's been a true honor for 919 00:43:40,594 --> 00:43:43,122 me to get to know you to start our 920 00:43:43,122 --> 00:43:47,474 friendship and also just to introduce all 921 00:43:47,474 --> 00:43:48,966 these listeners to who you are really 922 00:43:48,966 --> 00:43:50,694 Thank you for being so vulnerable today 923 00:43:50,694 --> 00:43:53,718 both in your writing and a you 924 00:43:53,718 --> 00:43:56,454 shared.Thank you Lori I appreciate you and 925 00:43:56,454 --> 00:43:58,598 I appreciate this connection God has had 926 00:43:58,598 --> 00:44:00,682 abusing have Thanks for being here Nagme 927 00:44:00,682 --> 00:44:02,278 Bye Thank you.Bye undefined undefined 928 00:44:02,278 --> 00:44:05,862 undefined undefined undefined undefined 929 00:44:05,862 --> 00:44:07,466 undefined undefined undefined undefined 930 00:44:07,466 --> 00:44:08,026 undefined undefined undefined undefined 931 00:44:08,026 --> 00:44:08,886 undefined undefined undefined undefined 932 00:44:08,886 --> 00:44:10,086 undefined undefined undefined undefined 933 00:44:10,086 --> 00:44:12,640 undefined undefined undefined undefined 934 00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:15,006 undefined undefined undefined undefined 935 00:44:15,006 --> 00:44:19,070 undefined undefined undefined undefined 936 00:44:19,070 --> 00:44:21,054 undefined undefined undefined undefined 937 00:44:21,054 --> 00:44:22,158 undefined undefined undefined undefined 938 00:44:22,158 --> 00:44:23,854 undefined undefined undefined undefined 939 00:44:23,854 --> 00:44:26,282 undefined undefined undefined undefined 940 00:44:26,282 --> 00:44:27,138 undefined undefined undefined undefined 941 00:44:27,138 --> 00:44:28,546 undefined undefined undefined undefined 942 00:44:28,546 --> 00:44:29,666 undefined undefined undefined undefined 943 00:44:29,666 --> 00:44:30,546 undefined undefined undefined undefined 944 00:44:30,546 --> 00:44:32,402 undefined undefined undefined undefined 945 00:44:32,402 --> 00:44:33,406 undefined undefined undefined undefined 946 00:44:33,406 --> 00:44:34,338 undefined undefined undefined undefined 947 00:44:34,338 --> 00:44:35,206 undefined undefined undefined undefined 948 00:44:35,206 --> 00:44:36,006 undefined undefined undefined undefined 949 00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:36,886 undefined undefined undefined undefined 950 00:44:36,886 --> 00:44:38,706 undefined undefined undefined undefined 951 00:44:38,706 --> 00:44:41,058 undefined undefined undefined undefined 952 00:44:41,058 --> 00:44:43,074 undefined undefined undefined undefined 953 00:44:43,074 --> 00:44:45,046 undefined undefined undefined undefined 954 00:44:45,046 --> 00:44:47,654 undefined undefined undefined undefined 955 00:44:47,654 --> 00:44:49,186 undefined undefined undefined undefined 956 00:44:49,186 --> 00:44:49,974 undefined undefined undefined undefined 957 00:44:49,974 --> 00:44:51,286 undefined undefined undefined undefined 958 00:44:51,286 --> 00:44:52,018 undefined undefined undefined undefined 959 00:44:52,018 --> 00:44:52,598 undefined undefined undefined undefined 960 00:44:52,598 --> 00:44:54,278 undefined undefined undefined undefined 961 00:44:54,278 --> 00:44:55,206 undefined undefined undefined undefined 962 00:44:55,206 --> 00:44:56,346 undefined undefined undefined undefined 963 00:44:56,346 --> 00:44:57,206 undefined undefined undefined undefined 964 00:44:57,206 --> 00:44:57,866 undefined undefined undefined undefined 965 00:44:57,866 --> 00:44:58,806 undefined undefined undefined undefined 966 00:44:58,806 --> 00:45:00,346 undefined undefined undefined undefined 967 00:45:00,346 --> 00:45:02,462 undefined undefined undefined undefined 968 00:45:02,462 --> 00:45:03,614 undefined undefined undefined undefined 969 00:45:03,614 --> 00:45:05,338 undefined undefined undefined undefined 970 00:45:05,338 --> 00:45:07,390 undefined undefined undefined undefined 971 00:45:07,390 --> 00:45:09,470 undefined undefined undefined undefined 972 00:45:09,470 --> 00:45:10,782 undefined undefined undefined undefined 973 00:45:10,782 --> 00:45:11,902 undefined undefined undefined undefined 974 00:45:11,902 --> 00:45:13,746 undefined undefined undefined undefined 975 00:45:13,746 --> 00:45:15,474 undefined undefined undefined undefined 976 00:45:15,474 --> 00:45:16,434 undefined undefined undefined undefined 977 00:45:16,434 --> 00:45:17,474 undefined undefined undefined undefined 978 00:45:17,474 --> 00:45:19,474 undefined undefined undefined undefined 979 00:45:19,474 --> 00:45:20,722 undefined undefined undefined undefined 980 00:45:20,722 --> 00:45:23,266 undefined undefined undefined undefined 981 00:45:23,266 --> 00:45:24,766 undefined undefined undefined undefined 982 00:45:24,766 --> 00:45:25,858 undefined undefined undefined undefined 983 00:45:25,858 --> 00:45:27,878 undefined undefined undefined undefined 984 00:45:27,878 --> 00:45:29,298 undefined undefined undefined undefined 985 00:45:29,298 --> 00:45:32,326 undefined undefined undefined undefined 986 00:45:32,326 --> 00:45:32,886 undefined undefined undefined undefined 987 00:45:32,886 --> 00:45:34,214 undefined undefined undefined undefined 988 00:45:34,214 --> 00:45:34,966 undefined undefined undefined undefined 989 00:45:34,966 --> 00:45:37,174 undefined undefined undefined undefined 990 00:45:37,174 --> 00:45:38,086 undefined undefined undefined undefined 991 00:45:38,086 --> 00:45:39,370 undefined undefined undefined undefined 992 00:45:39,370 --> 00:45:40,826 undefined undefined undefined undefined 993 00:45:40,826 --> 00:45:42,170 undefined undefined undefined undefined 994 00:45:42,170 --> 00:45:44,134 undefined undefined undefined undefined 995 00:45:44,134 --> 00:45:45,850 undefined undefined undefined undefined 996 00:45:45,850 --> 00:45:46,922 undefined undefined undefined undefined 997 00:45:46,922 --> 00:45:48,058 undefined undefined undefined undefined 998 00:45:48,058 --> 00:45:49,622 undefined undefined undefined undefined 999 00:45:49,622 --> 00:45:51,194 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1000 00:45:51,194 --> 00:45:52,202 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1001 00:45:52,202 --> 00:45:53,318 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1002 00:45:53,318 --> 00:45:54,854 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1003 00:45:54,854 --> 00:45:56,766 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1004 00:45:56,766 --> 00:45:57,566 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1005 00:45:57,566 --> 00:45:59,546 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1006 00:45:59,546 --> 00:46:00,526 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1007 00:46:00,526 --> 00:46:01,546 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1008 00:46:01,546 --> 00:46:03,034 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1009 00:46:03,034 --> 00:46:04,322 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1010 00:46:04,322 --> 00:46:04,978 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1011 00:46:04,978 --> 00:46:07,538 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1012 00:46:07,538 --> 00:46:08,866 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1013 00:46:08,866 --> 00:46:10,290 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1014 00:46:10,290 --> 00:46:12,142 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1015 00:46:12,142 --> 00:46:13,346 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1016 00:46:13,346 --> 00:46:14,286 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1017 00:46:14,286 --> 00:46:16,962 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1018 00:46:16,962 --> 00:46:18,486 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1019 00:46:18,486 --> 00:46:19,334 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1020 00:46:19,334 --> 00:46:20,482 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1021 00:46:20,482 --> 00:46:21,702 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1022 00:46:21,702 --> 00:46:23,138 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1023 00:46:23,138 --> 00:46:24,166 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1024 00:46:24,166 --> 00:46:25,442 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1025 00:46:25,442 --> 00:46:27,486 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1026 00:46:27,486 --> 00:46:29,014 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1027 00:46:29,014 --> 00:46:30,106 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1028 00:46:30,106 --> 00:46:32,074 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1029 00:46:32,074 --> 00:46:33,626 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1030 00:46:33,626 --> 00:46:35,114 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1031 00:46:35,114 --> 00:46:36,746 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1032 00:46:36,746 --> 00:46:39,750 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1033 00:46:39,750 --> 00:46:40,538 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1034 00:46:40,538 --> 00:46:42,506 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1035 00:46:42,506 --> 00:46:43,578 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1036 00:46:43,578 --> 00:46:45,134 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1037 00:46:45,134 --> 00:46:46,126 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1038 00:46:46,126 --> 00:46:47,582 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1039 00:46:47,582 --> 00:46:48,798 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1040 00:46:48,798 --> 00:46:49,994 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1041 00:46:49,994 --> 00:46:51,082 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1042 00:46:51,082 --> 00:46:53,534 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1043 00:46:53,534 --> 00:46:54,794 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1044 00:46:54,794 --> 00:46:56,162 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1045 00:46:56,162 --> 00:46:57,534 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1046 00:46:57,534 --> 00:46:58,914 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1047 00:46:58,914 --> 00:46:59,826 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1048 00:46:59,826 --> 00:47:01,198 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1049 00:47:01,198 --> 00:47:02,206 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1050 00:47:02,206 --> 00:47:03,106 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1051 00:47:03,106 --> 00:47:04,866 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1052 00:47:04,866 --> 00:47:05,506 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1053 00:47:05,506 --> 00:47:06,946 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1054 00:47:06,946 --> 00:47:07,918 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1055 00:47:07,918 --> 00:47:09,586 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1056 00:47:09,586 --> 00:47:10,966 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1057 00:47:10,966 --> 00:47:12,374 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1058 00:47:12,374 --> 00:47:14,422 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1059 00:47:14,422 --> 00:47:15,414 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1060 00:47:15,414 --> 00:47:16,294 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1061 00:47:16,294 --> 00:47:16,934 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1062 00:47:16,934 --> 00:47:18,310 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1063 00:47:18,310 --> 00:47:19,466 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1064 00:47:19,466 --> 00:47:21,062 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1065 00:47:21,062 --> 00:47:22,394 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1066 00:47:22,394 --> 00:47:23,562 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1067 00:47:23,562 --> 00:47:25,514 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1068 00:47:25,514 --> 00:47:27,114 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1069 00:47:27,114 --> 00:47:28,700 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1070 00:47:28,700 --> 00:47:31,882 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1071 00:47:31,882 --> 00:47:32,506 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1072 00:47:32,506 --> 00:47:33,274 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1073 00:47:33,274 --> 00:47:34,078 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1074 00:47:34,078 --> 00:47:35,726 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1075 00:47:35,726 --> 00:47:36,606 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1076 00:47:36,606 --> 00:47:37,278 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1077 00:47:37,278 --> 00:47:38,174 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1078 00:47:38,174 --> 00:47:39,118 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1079 00:47:39,118 --> 00:47:39,566 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1080 00:47:39,566 --> 00:47:40,480 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1081 00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:45,106 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1082 00:47:45,106 --> 00:47:46,082 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1083 00:47:46,082 --> 00:47:47,938 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1084 00:47:47,938 --> 00:47:48,914 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1085 00:47:48,914 --> 00:47:49,986 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1086 00:47:49,986 --> 00:47:51,026 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1087 00:47:51,026 --> 00:47:52,286 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1088 00:47:52,286 --> 00:47:55,554 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1089 00:47:55,554 --> 00:47:56,354 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1090 00:47:56,354 --> 00:47:57,122 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1091 00:47:57,122 --> 00:47:59,602 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1092 00:47:59,602 --> 00:48:00,646 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1093 00:48:00,646 --> 00:48:01,126 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1094 00:48:01,126 --> 00:48:01,846 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1095 00:48:01,846 --> 00:48:02,566 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1096 00:48:02,566 --> 00:48:03,254 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1097 00:48:03,254 --> 00:48:04,566 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1098 00:48:04,566 --> 00:48:06,086 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1099 00:48:06,086 --> 00:48:07,480 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1100 00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:09,218 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1101 00:48:09,218 --> 00:48:10,762 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1102 00:48:10,762 --> 00:48:12,186 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1103 00:48:12,186 --> 00:48:13,146 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1104 00:48:13,146 --> 00:48:15,466 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1105 00:48:15,466 --> 00:48:16,186 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1106 00:48:16,186 --> 00:48:18,138 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1107 00:48:18,138 --> 00:48:18,986 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1108 00:48:18,986 --> 00:48:21,726 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1109 00:48:21,726 --> 00:48:23,022 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1110 00:48:23,022 --> 00:48:24,542 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1111 00:48:24,542 --> 00:48:26,462 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1112 00:48:26,462 --> 00:48:29,166 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1113 00:48:29,166 --> 00:48:30,830 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1114 00:48:30,830 --> 00:48:35,810 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1115 00:48:35,810 --> 00:48:39,586 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1116 00:48:39,586 --> 00:48:40,286 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1117 00:48:40,286 --> 00:48:41,746 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1118 00:48:41,746 --> 00:48:42,754 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1119 00:48:42,754 --> 00:48:44,514 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1120 00:48:44,514 --> 00:48:45,138 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1121 00:48:45,138 --> 00:48:45,974 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1122 00:48:45,974 --> 00:48:47,666 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1123 00:48:47,666 --> 00:48:49,542 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1124 00:48:49,542 --> 00:48:50,486 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1125 00:48:50,486 --> 00:48:51,542 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1126 00:48:51,542 --> 00:48:53,862 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1127 00:48:53,862 --> 00:48:55,958 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1128 00:48:55,958 --> 00:48:57,414 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1129 00:48:57,414 --> 00:48:59,126 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1130 00:48:59,126 --> 00:48:59,938 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1131 00:48:59,938 --> 00:49:01,194 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1132 00:49:01,194 --> 00:49:02,154 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1133 00:49:02,154 --> 00:49:03,914 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1134 00:49:03,914 --> 00:49:05,306 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1135 00:49:05,306 --> 00:49:06,554 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1136 00:49:06,554 --> 00:49:07,674 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1137 00:49:07,674 --> 00:49:08,922 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1138 00:49:08,922 --> 00:49:11,454 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1139 00:49:11,454 --> 00:49:12,494 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1140 00:49:12,494 --> 00:49:14,080 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1141 00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:16,526 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1142 00:49:16,526 --> 00:49:17,758 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1143 00:49:17,758 --> 00:49:19,594 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1144 00:49:19,594 --> 00:49:20,750 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1145 00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:22,158 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1146 00:49:22,158 --> 00:49:23,426 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1147 00:49:23,426 --> 00:49:24,754 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1148 00:49:24,754 --> 00:49:26,066 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1149 00:49:26,066 --> 00:49:27,058 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1150 00:49:27,058 --> 00:49:27,858 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1151 00:49:27,858 --> 00:49:28,786 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1152 00:49:28,786 --> 00:49:31,780 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1153 00:49:31,780 --> 00:49:35,394 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1154 00:49:35,394 --> 00:49:36,626 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1155 00:49:36,626 --> 00:49:37,326 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1156 00:49:37,326 --> 00:49:38,774 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1157 00:49:38,774 --> 00:49:39,686 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1158 00:49:39,686 --> 00:49:40,786 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1159 00:49:40,786 --> 00:49:41,746 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1160 00:49:41,746 --> 00:49:42,486 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1161 00:49:42,486 --> 00:49:44,242 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1162 00:49:44,242 --> 00:49:46,120 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1163 00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,274 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1164 00:49:48,274 --> 00:49:50,566 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1165 00:49:50,566 --> 00:49:52,134 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1166 00:49:52,134 --> 00:49:53,382 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1167 00:49:53,382 --> 00:49:54,426 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1168 00:49:54,426 --> 00:49:55,306 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1169 00:49:55,306 --> 00:49:56,154 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1170 00:49:56,154 --> 00:49:57,034 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1171 00:49:57,034 --> 00:49:59,046 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1172 00:49:59,046 --> 00:50:00,022 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1173 00:50:00,022 --> 00:50:01,518 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1174 00:50:01,518 --> 00:50:04,606 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1175 00:50:04,606 --> 00:50:05,834 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1176 00:50:05,834 --> 00:50:07,120 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1177 00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,866 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1178 00:50:09,866 --> 00:50:11,086 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1179 00:50:11,086 --> 00:50:12,206 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1180 00:50:12,206 --> 00:50:14,560 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1181 00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:16,866 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1182 00:50:16,866 --> 00:50:17,618 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1183 00:50:17,618 --> 00:50:18,306 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1184 00:50:18,306 --> 00:50:19,634 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1185 00:50:19,634 --> 00:50:21,042 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1186 00:50:21,042 --> 00:50:22,546 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1187 00:50:22,546 --> 00:50:23,806 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1188 00:50:23,806 --> 00:50:24,786 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1189 00:50:24,786 --> 00:50:25,746 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1190 00:50:25,746 --> 00:50:26,950 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1191 00:50:26,950 --> 00:50:28,726 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1192 00:50:28,726 --> 00:50:32,566 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1193 00:50:32,566 --> 00:50:33,206 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1194 00:50:33,206 --> 00:50:34,082 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1195 00:50:34,082 --> 00:50:35,586 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1196 00:50:35,586 --> 00:50:37,366 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1197 00:50:37,366 --> 00:50:38,358 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1198 00:50:38,358 --> 00:50:39,898 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1199 00:50:39,898 --> 00:50:41,882 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1200 00:50:41,882 --> 00:50:43,674 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1201 00:50:43,674 --> 00:50:45,722 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1202 00:50:45,722 --> 00:50:47,642 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1203 00:50:47,642 --> 00:50:48,746 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1204 00:50:48,746 --> 00:50:49,866 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1205 00:50:49,866 --> 00:50:51,422 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1206 00:50:51,422 --> 00:50:52,654 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1207 00:50:52,654 --> 00:50:54,346 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1208 00:50:54,346 --> 00:50:55,514 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1209 00:50:55,514 --> 00:50:57,214 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1210 00:50:57,214 --> 00:50:58,654 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1211 00:50:58,654 --> 00:50:59,662 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1212 00:50:59,662 --> 00:51:01,754 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1213 00:51:01,754 --> 00:51:03,166 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1214 00:51:03,166 --> 00:51:04,706 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1215 00:51:04,706 --> 00:51:06,290 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1216 00:51:06,290 --> 00:51:08,626 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1217 00:51:08,626 --> 00:51:11,518 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1218 00:51:11,518 --> 00:51:12,866 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1219 00:51:12,866 --> 00:51:14,354 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1220 00:51:14,354 --> 00:51:15,586 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1221 00:51:15,586 --> 00:51:17,174 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1222 00:51:17,174 --> 00:51:18,454 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1223 00:51:18,454 --> 00:51:23,234 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1224 00:51:23,234 --> 00:51:24,486 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1225 00:51:24,486 --> 00:51:25,366 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1226 00:51:25,366 --> 00:51:26,166 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1227 00:51:26,166 --> 00:51:28,140 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1228 00:51:28,140 --> 00:51:29,866 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1229 00:51:29,866 --> 00:51:33,020 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1230 00:51:33,020 --> 00:51:35,318 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1231 00:51:35,318 --> 00:51:36,982 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1232 00:51:36,982 --> 00:51:38,554 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1233 00:51:38,554 --> 00:51:40,074 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1234 00:51:40,074 --> 00:51:41,862 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1235 00:51:41,862 --> 00:51:42,974 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1236 00:51:42,974 --> 00:51:44,366 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1237 00:51:44,366 --> 00:51:45,406 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1238 00:51:45,406 --> 00:51:46,126 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1239 00:51:46,126 --> 00:51:47,566 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1240 00:51:47,566 --> 00:51:49,374 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1241 00:51:49,374 --> 00:51:51,520 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1242 00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:54,494 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1243 00:51:54,494 --> 00:51:55,538 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1244 00:51:55,538 --> 00:51:56,498 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1245 00:51:56,498 --> 00:51:57,570 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1246 00:51:57,570 --> 00:51:59,902 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1247 00:51:59,902 --> 00:52:02,110 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1248 00:52:02,110 --> 00:52:02,946 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1249 00:52:02,946 --> 00:52:03,890 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1250 00:52:03,890 --> 00:52:06,094 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1251 00:52:06,094 --> 00:52:08,034 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1252 00:52:08,034 --> 00:52:08,966 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1253 00:52:08,966 --> 00:52:11,442 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1254 00:52:11,442 --> 00:52:12,406 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1255 00:52:12,406 --> 00:52:13,414 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1256 00:52:13,414 --> 00:52:14,806 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1257 00:52:14,806 --> 00:52:16,070 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1258 00:52:16,070 --> 00:52:17,814 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1259 00:52:17,814 --> 00:52:18,646 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1260 00:52:18,646 --> 00:52:19,266 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1261 00:52:19,266 --> 00:52:19,898 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1262 00:52:19,898 --> 00:52:20,570 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1263 00:52:20,570 --> 00:52:22,010 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1264 00:52:22,010 --> 00:52:22,986 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1265 00:52:22,986 --> 00:52:24,042 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1266 00:52:24,042 --> 00:52:25,482 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1267 00:52:25,482 --> 00:52:27,802 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1268 00:52:27,802 --> 00:52:29,818 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1269 00:52:29,818 --> 00:52:31,274 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1270 00:52:31,274 --> 00:52:32,186 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1271 00:52:32,186 --> 00:52:33,446 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1272 00:52:33,446 --> 00:52:34,334 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1273 00:52:34,334 --> 00:52:35,262 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1274 00:52:35,262 --> 00:52:36,206 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1275 00:52:36,206 --> 00:52:37,118 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1276 00:52:37,118 --> 00:52:38,606 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1277 00:52:38,606 --> 00:52:40,042 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1278 00:52:40,042 --> 00:52:41,886 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1279 00:52:41,886 --> 00:52:42,814 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1280 00:52:42,814 --> 00:52:44,766 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1281 00:52:44,766 --> 00:52:46,462 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1282 00:52:46,462 --> 00:52:47,730 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1283 00:52:47,730 --> 00:52:49,378 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1284 00:52:49,378 --> 00:52:50,098 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1285 00:52:50,098 --> 00:52:50,770 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1286 00:52:50,770 --> 00:52:51,426 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1287 00:52:51,426 --> 00:52:52,306 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1288 00:52:52,306 --> 00:52:53,486 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1289 00:52:53,486 --> 00:52:55,634 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1290 00:52:55,634 --> 00:52:56,734 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1291 00:52:56,734 --> 00:52:59,334 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1292 00:52:59,334 --> 00:52:59,846 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1293 00:52:59,846 --> 00:53:01,106 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1294 00:53:01,106 --> 00:53:01,974 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1295 00:53:01,974 --> 00:53:03,046 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1296 00:53:03,046 --> 00:53:03,734 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1297 00:53:03,734 --> 00:53:05,430 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1298 00:53:05,430 --> 00:53:06,966 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1299 00:53:06,966 --> 00:53:08,422 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1300 00:53:08,422 --> 00:53:09,458 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1301 00:53:09,458 --> 00:53:10,154 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1302 00:53:10,154 --> 00:53:12,054 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1303 00:53:12,054 --> 00:53:14,058 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1304 00:53:14,058 --> 00:53:17,018 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1305 00:53:17,018 --> 00:53:17,898 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1306 00:53:17,898 --> 00:53:18,458 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1307 00:53:18,458 --> 00:53:19,226 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1308 00:53:19,226 --> 00:53:20,922 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1309 00:53:20,922 --> 00:53:23,274 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1310 00:53:23,274 --> 00:53:24,602 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1311 00:53:24,602 --> 00:53:25,902 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1312 00:53:25,902 --> 00:53:26,894 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1313 00:53:26,894 --> 00:53:27,518 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1314 00:53:27,518 --> 00:53:28,606 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1315 00:53:28,606 --> 00:53:29,674 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1316 00:53:29,674 --> 00:53:30,906 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1317 00:53:30,906 --> 00:53:32,750 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1318 00:53:32,750 --> 00:53:35,286 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1319 00:53:35,286 --> 00:53:36,162 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1320 00:53:36,162 --> 00:53:37,890 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1321 00:53:37,890 --> 00:53:39,186 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1322 00:53:39,186 --> 00:53:40,722 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1323 00:53:40,722 --> 00:53:41,682 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1324 00:53:41,682 --> 00:53:42,962 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1325 00:53:42,962 --> 00:53:44,402 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1326 00:53:44,402 --> 00:53:45,394 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1327 00:53:45,394 --> 00:53:46,642 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1328 00:53:46,642 --> 00:53:48,194 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1329 00:53:48,194 --> 00:53:49,174 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1330 00:53:49,174 --> 00:53:49,926 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1331 00:53:49,926 --> 00:53:52,486 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1332 00:53:52,486 --> 00:53:54,726 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1333 00:53:54,726 --> 00:53:55,926 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1334 00:53:55,926 --> 00:53:56,726 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1335 00:53:56,726 --> 00:53:57,574 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1336 00:53:57,574 --> 00:53:58,854 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1337 00:53:58,854 --> 00:53:59,638 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1338 00:53:59,638 --> 00:54:00,354 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1339 00:54:00,354 --> 00:54:00,886 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1340 00:54:00,886 --> 00:54:01,626 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1341 00:54:01,626 --> 00:54:02,506 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1342 00:54:02,506 --> 00:54:03,354 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1343 00:54:03,354 --> 00:54:04,234 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1344 00:54:04,234 --> 00:54:06,266 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1345 00:54:06,266 --> 00:54:08,314 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1346 00:54:08,314 --> 00:54:09,274 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1347 00:54:09,274 --> 00:54:09,962 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1348 00:54:09,962 --> 00:54:11,386 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1349 00:54:11,386 --> 00:54:12,542 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1350 00:54:12,542 --> 00:54:13,834 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1351 00:54:13,834 --> 00:54:15,134 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1352 00:54:15,134 --> 00:54:17,738 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1353 00:54:17,738 --> 00:54:18,922 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1354 00:54:18,922 --> 00:54:20,794 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1355 00:54:20,794 --> 00:54:21,694 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1356 00:54:21,694 --> 00:54:23,262 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1357 00:54:23,262 --> 00:54:23,966 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1358 00:54:23,966 --> 00:54:25,294 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1359 00:54:25,294 --> 00:54:26,914 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1360 00:54:26,914 --> 00:54:29,554 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1361 00:54:29,554 --> 00:54:30,434 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1362 00:54:30,434 --> 00:54:31,794 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1363 00:54:31,794 --> 00:54:32,466 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1364 00:54:32,466 --> 00:54:33,362 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1365 00:54:33,362 --> 00:54:34,226 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1366 00:54:34,226 --> 00:54:35,442 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1367 00:54:35,442 --> 00:54:36,706 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1368 00:54:36,706 --> 00:54:37,426 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1369 00:54:37,426 --> 00:54:38,354 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1370 00:54:38,354 --> 00:54:39,202 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1371 00:54:39,202 --> 00:54:39,894 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1372 00:54:39,894 --> 00:54:40,758 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1373 00:54:40,758 --> 00:54:41,382 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1374 00:54:41,382 --> 00:54:42,966 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1375 00:54:42,966 --> 00:54:44,162 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1376 00:54:44,162 --> 00:54:45,186 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1377 00:54:45,186 --> 00:54:46,614 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1378 00:54:46,614 --> 00:54:47,794 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1379 00:54:47,794 --> 00:54:48,614 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1380 00:54:48,614 --> 00:54:50,134 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1381 00:54:50,134 --> 00:54:50,998 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1382 00:54:50,998 --> 00:54:51,786 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1383 00:54:51,786 --> 00:54:52,746 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1384 00:54:52,746 --> 00:54:53,658 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1385 00:54:53,658 --> 00:54:54,778 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1386 00:54:54,778 --> 00:54:55,866 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1387 00:54:55,866 --> 00:54:57,274 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1388 00:54:57,274 --> 00:55:00,006 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1389 00:55:00,006 --> 00:55:01,002 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1390 00:55:01,002 --> 00:55:02,700 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1391 00:55:02,700 --> 00:55:05,006 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1392 00:55:05,006 --> 00:55:06,126 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1393 00:55:06,126 --> 00:55:07,118 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1394 00:55:07,118 --> 00:55:08,462 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1395 00:55:08,462 --> 00:55:10,014 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1396 00:55:10,014 --> 00:55:11,274 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1397 00:55:11,274 --> 00:55:12,234 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1398 00:55:12,234 --> 00:55:12,958 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1399 00:55:12,958 --> 00:55:13,518 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1400 00:55:13,518 --> 00:55:15,194 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1401 00:55:15,194 --> 00:55:15,918 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1402 00:55:15,918 --> 00:55:16,574 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1403 00:55:16,574 --> 00:55:17,794 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1404 00:55:17,794 --> 00:55:18,626 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1405 00:55:18,626 --> 00:55:19,762 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1406 00:55:19,762 --> 00:55:20,546 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1407 00:55:20,546 --> 00:55:21,666 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1408 00:55:21,666 --> 00:55:22,626 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1409 00:55:22,626 --> 00:55:24,066 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1410 00:55:24,066 --> 00:55:25,378 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1411 00:55:25,378 --> 00:55:27,234 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1412 00:55:27,234 --> 00:55:27,922 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1413 00:55:27,922 --> 00:55:29,650 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1414 00:55:29,650 --> 00:55:31,026 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1415 00:55:31,026 --> 00:55:32,006 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1416 00:55:32,006 --> 00:55:32,646 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1417 00:55:32,646 --> 00:55:33,814 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1418 00:55:33,814 --> 00:55:34,946 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1419 00:55:34,946 --> 00:55:35,606 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1420 00:55:35,606 --> 00:55:37,014 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1421 00:55:37,014 --> 00:55:38,054 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1422 00:55:38,054 --> 00:55:38,758 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1423 00:55:38,758 --> 00:55:39,514 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1424 00:55:39,514 --> 00:55:40,474 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1425 00:55:40,474 --> 00:55:42,954 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1426 00:55:42,954 --> 00:55:43,914 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1427 00:55:43,914 --> 00:55:45,206 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1428 00:55:45,206 --> 00:55:46,106 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1429 00:55:46,106 --> 00:55:47,446 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1430 00:55:47,446 --> 00:55:49,946 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1431 00:55:49,946 --> 00:55:50,794 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1432 00:55:50,794 --> 00:55:51,738 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1433 00:55:51,738 --> 00:55:52,378 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1434 00:55:52,378 --> 00:55:52,906 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1435 00:55:52,906 --> 00:55:54,426 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1436 00:55:54,426 --> 00:55:55,406 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1437 00:55:55,406 --> 00:55:56,574 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1438 00:55:56,574 --> 00:55:57,966 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1439 00:55:57,966 --> 00:55:59,486 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1440 00:55:59,486 --> 00:56:00,618 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1441 00:56:00,618 --> 00:56:01,758 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1442 00:56:01,758 --> 00:56:02,286 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1443 00:56:02,286 --> 00:56:02,798 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1444 00:56:02,798 --> 00:56:03,694 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1445 00:56:03,694 --> 00:56:04,734 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1446 00:56:04,734 --> 00:56:05,418 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1447 00:56:05,418 --> 00:56:07,714 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1448 00:56:07,714 --> 00:56:09,220 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1449 00:56:09,220 --> 00:56:10,722 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1450 00:56:10,722 --> 00:56:11,694 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1451 00:56:11,694 --> 00:56:12,546 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1452 00:56:12,546 --> 00:56:13,854 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1453 00:56:13,854 --> 00:56:14,686 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1454 00:56:14,686 --> 00:56:15,266 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1455 00:56:15,266 --> 00:56:16,146 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1456 00:56:16,146 --> 00:56:17,554 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1457 00:56:17,554 --> 00:56:18,194 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1458 00:56:18,194 --> 00:56:18,786 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1459 00:56:18,786 --> 00:56:20,050 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1460 00:56:20,050 --> 00:56:21,318 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1461 00:56:21,318 --> 00:56:22,054 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1462 00:56:22,054 --> 00:56:22,726 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1463 00:56:22,726 --> 00:56:25,026 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1464 00:56:25,026 --> 00:56:25,638 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1465 00:56:25,638 --> 00:56:26,166 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1466 00:56:26,166 --> 00:56:27,110 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1467 00:56:27,110 --> 00:56:27,846 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1468 00:56:27,846 --> 00:56:29,414 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1469 00:56:29,414 --> 00:56:30,246 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1470 00:56:30,246 --> 00:56:31,126 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1471 00:56:31,126 --> 00:56:31,738 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1472 00:56:31,738 --> 00:56:32,666 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1473 00:56:32,666 --> 00:56:33,834 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1474 00:56:33,834 --> 00:56:34,858 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1475 00:56:34,858 --> 00:56:36,474 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1476 00:56:36,474 --> 00:56:38,826 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1477 00:56:38,826 --> 00:56:39,418 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1478 00:56:39,418 --> 00:56:39,946 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1479 00:56:39,946 --> 00:56:40,666 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1480 00:56:40,666 --> 00:56:41,706 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1481 00:56:41,706 --> 00:56:42,138 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1482 00:56:42,138 --> 00:56:42,634 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1483 00:56:42,634 --> 00:56:43,690 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1484 00:56:43,690 --> 00:56:45,318 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1485 00:56:45,318 --> 00:56:45,806 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1486 00:56:45,806 --> 00:56:46,558 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1487 00:56:46,558 --> 00:56:47,374 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1488 00:56:47,374 --> 00:56:48,746 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1489 00:56:48,746 --> 00:56:49,246 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1490 00:56:49,246 --> 00:56:50,894 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1491 00:56:50,894 --> 00:56:51,822 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1492 00:56:51,822 --> 00:56:54,142 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1493 00:56:54,142 --> 00:56:55,600 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1494 00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:57,266 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1495 00:56:57,266 --> 00:56:58,018 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1496 00:56:58,018 --> 00:56:58,674 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1497 00:56:58,674 --> 00:56:59,586 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1498 00:56:59,586 --> 00:57:01,940 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1499 00:57:01,940 --> 00:57:04,098 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1500 00:57:04,098 --> 00:57:05,938 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1501 00:57:05,938 --> 00:57:06,934 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1502 00:57:06,934 --> 00:57:09,014 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1503 00:57:09,014 --> 00:57:11,446 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1504 00:57:11,446 --> 00:57:12,454 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1505 00:57:12,454 --> 00:57:13,686 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1506 00:57:13,686 --> 00:57:14,626 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1507 00:57:14,626 --> 00:57:16,582 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1508 00:57:16,582 --> 00:57:18,438 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1509 00:57:18,438 --> 00:57:19,194 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1510 00:57:19,194 --> 00:57:20,038 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1511 00:57:20,038 --> 00:57:21,034 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1512 00:57:21,034 --> 00:57:22,666 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1513 00:57:22,666 --> 00:57:23,926 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1514 00:57:23,926 --> 00:57:25,654 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1515 00:57:25,654 --> 00:57:28,058 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1516 00:57:28,058 --> 00:57:30,646 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1517 00:57:30,646 --> 00:57:31,774 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1518 00:57:31,774 --> 00:57:33,226 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1519 00:57:33,226 --> 00:57:34,586 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1520 00:57:34,586 --> 00:57:35,886 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1521 00:57:35,886 --> 00:57:37,626 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1522 00:57:37,626 --> 00:57:39,946 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1523 00:57:39,946 --> 00:57:41,246 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1524 00:57:41,246 --> 00:57:43,886 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1525 00:57:43,886 --> 00:57:44,926 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1526 00:57:44,926 --> 00:57:45,826 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1527 00:57:45,826 --> 00:57:47,074 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1528 00:57:47,074 --> 00:57:48,130 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1529 00:57:48,130 --> 00:57:49,666 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1530 00:57:49,666 --> 00:57:50,338 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1531 00:57:50,338 --> 00:57:51,186 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1532 00:57:51,186 --> 00:57:53,554 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1533 00:57:53,554 --> 00:57:54,546 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1534 00:57:54,546 --> 00:57:55,314 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1535 00:57:55,314 --> 00:57:56,258 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1536 00:57:56,258 --> 00:57:57,090 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1537 00:57:57,090 --> 00:57:59,590 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1538 00:57:59,590 --> 00:58:01,800 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1539 00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:03,446 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1540 00:58:03,446 --> 00:58:03,986 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1541 00:58:03,986 --> 00:58:04,774 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1542 00:58:04,774 --> 00:58:05,654 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1543 00:58:05,654 --> 00:58:06,934 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1544 00:58:06,934 --> 00:58:07,686 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1545 00:58:07,686 --> 00:58:09,094 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1546 00:58:09,094 --> 00:58:10,746 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1547 00:58:10,746 --> 00:58:11,786 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1548 00:58:11,786 --> 00:58:13,674 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1549 00:58:13,674 --> 00:58:14,842 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1550 00:58:14,842 --> 00:58:15,626 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1551 00:58:15,626 --> 00:58:17,082 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1552 00:58:17,082 --> 00:58:18,394 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1553 00:58:18,394 --> 00:58:20,138 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1554 00:58:20,138 --> 00:58:21,402 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1555 00:58:21,402 --> 00:58:22,138 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1556 00:58:22,138 --> 00:58:24,198 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1557 00:58:24,198 --> 00:58:25,166 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1558 00:58:25,166 --> 00:58:26,026 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1559 00:58:26,026 --> 00:58:27,466 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1560 00:58:27,466 --> 00:58:27,966 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1561 00:58:27,966 --> 00:58:28,494 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1562 00:58:28,494 --> 00:58:30,574 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1563 00:58:30,574 --> 00:58:32,206 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1564 00:58:32,206 --> 00:58:32,926 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1565 00:58:32,926 --> 00:58:34,382 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1566 00:58:34,382 --> 00:58:35,374 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1567 00:58:35,374 --> 00:58:37,694 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1568 00:58:37,694 --> 00:58:39,214 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1569 00:58:39,214 --> 00:58:40,478 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1570 00:58:40,478 --> 00:58:41,594 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1571 00:58:41,594 --> 00:58:42,862 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1572 00:58:42,862 --> 00:58:43,566 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1573 00:58:43,566 --> 00:58:44,430 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1574 00:58:44,430 --> 00:58:46,198 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1575 00:58:46,198 --> 00:58:48,006 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1576 00:58:48,006 --> 00:58:48,950 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1577 00:58:48,950 --> 00:58:50,662 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1578 00:58:50,662 --> 00:58:52,678 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1579 00:58:52,678 --> 00:58:53,782 undefined undefined undefined undefined 1580 00:58:53,782 --> 00:58:54,980 undefined undefined undefined undefined